Barnyard: The Original Party Animals

“The Cow King”

We are afraid of tragedy in modern American cinema. We are doubly afraid of tragedy aimed at kids because of our belief that children can’t handle it. We do so under the well-intentioned umbrella of motivations of trying protect them from it rather than prepare them for it. The last successful (traditionally) animated film to tackle tragedy was Disney’s The Lion King. A variation on Shakespeare’s Hamlet, except with a happy ending, Disney continued its theme of parental loss (from Bambi to Disney/Pixar’s Finding Nemo) and learning responsibility as you grow up. While there was humor in The Lion King and Finding Nemo, both movies realized that they couldn’t be wacky comedies when their plots revolve around the death of a parent.

However, Barnyard: The Original Party Animals tries.

Director Steve Oederick (who wrote not only this screenplay but also such films as Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius and Bruce Almighty) doesn’t want a little thing like the death of a party to stop the zany hijinks of his stock cast of characters. Either he didn’t trust his audience or this movie didn’t know what kind of movie it wanted to be. It started a number of epic themes, yet failing to follow though with a serious examination/meditation on any of them: fathers and sons, what it means to be a leader, having fun vs. learning responsibility, the natural order of things, what it means to be a(n adopted) family, and the futility of vengeance (violence doesn’t solve anything in a lasting way).

[Okay, I’ll be honest. I was thrown through the entire movie. I couldn’t get past the disturbing display of udders from all of the boy cows. Maybe it was my inner-seven year old, but that was the thing that I kept giggling at.]

“The best leader is the one that cares the most.” –Daisy (Courtney Cox)

“My place is here. Taking care of things,” Ben (voiced by Sam Elliott) believes. There is a myth called “The Corn King,” popularized by Sir James Frazer in The Golden Bough. It presents the archetype tradition of the king who carries the life of the land. That king, that protector, may be called upon to sacrifice himself for the sake of the land, his people. Obviously, this is an even older story, the story of stories, if you will, but it is the story that Barnyard: The Original Party Animals tries to follow. In this case, it is the story of a father, Ben trying to pass on the mantle of responsibility to his party-all-the-time son, Otis (Kevin James).

“A strong man stands up for himself. A stronger man stands up for others.” –Ben

The idea that the movie kept returning to was the idea of individuality vs. community. Otis is focused on himself, his needs, his desires. As a consequence, he believes in the survival of the fittest, every man for himself, pull yourself up by your own bootstraps mindset. While he has a regular contingent he hangs out with within the farm community, he also hangs out with a group of poser hooligans who are often guilty of, among other things, the “animal sin of sins”: joy-riding. Ben, and subsequently the farm elder, Miles the Mule (Danny Glover), try to instill in him the value and importance of community. Sadly, Otis has to learn the hard way, as Dag (David Koechner) the coyote points out, that “You could’ve made a difference had you been there for him.”

We say we want community, but we don’t really. We want that close circle of connectedness where one experiences a deep sense of belonging, acceptance, and love. That’s the lure of community, but we don’t want to do what it takes to achieve it. Otis has to realize not only the importance of community, but how tied he is to the community. The flipside of learning how to be a part of the community is learning how to let the community be there for you. This is the final lesson that Otis has to learn.

This year has an unprecedented amount of animated movies. Because this is a kids movie, we know that the tragedy will eventuate in a happy ending and we expect laughs along the way. Barnyard: The Original Party Animals has all of the right ingredients, yet still manages to wobble between overly earnest and randomly amusing. It has trouble sustaining the right tone/balance, lacking a central focus. These might be quibbles, however, since the yuks in the movie works fine for kids.


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Indiana Teens Need Better Outlets

BROWNSTOWN, Ind. -- A hunting trip with friends and relatives sparked a rage in Zachariah Blanton on Saturday night when it came time for the messy work of gutting a deer. A fight erupted, and although investigators have not said what it was about, the 17-year-old interstate sniper suspect bolted for his car and headed for his Delaware County home.

"I found myself driving to the overpass," State Police forensic crime scene technician John Kelly recalled Blanton telling him. Then, Kelly testified, the teen offered his explanation for firing a high-powered hunting rifle into the windshields of two southbound pickups on I-65, then driving about 100 miles north and firing on two other vehicles in Delaware County. Blanton gave Kelly a simple motive. "I felt that was a way to relieve the pressure."

Relieve the pressure? I have already been warned that I shouldn’t make light of the sniper attack, but come on. Back in my day, man, do I feel my age saying things like that, we at least had cow-tipping. What kind of screwed up emotional skillset are we failing to teach where a teen goes through the mental steps of:

-I’ve just had a fight with my folks
-My parents just don’t get me.
-I’m upset.
-I’ll go for a drive.
-Let me stop here on this overpass and randomly start shooting at folks.
-Ah. I feel my pain leaving already.

In fact, there must be something in the water, because I just heard about this:

Greencastle, IN - Someone in Indiana is doing more than minding his P’s and Q’s, he’s stealing R’s. Dozens of the letter R have been stolen from signs and marquees in Greencastle, which is about 40 miles west of Indianapolis. Police say the consonant thief targets gas stations, restaurants, repair shops and medical offices.

Shooting people or stealing the letter R? These are what our teens do to relieve themselves? There is definitely a disconnect with them somewhere along the way. You know what this means? Rather than blame the parents, or the fact that, hey, people are born screwed up, it’s time to find a scapegoat. Let’s whip Congress into a frenzy to complete the misdirect. We’re already beaten up television and school recently, so I say we blame it on video games (it’s either that or call Sesame Street: Special Letters Unit).


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Break Glass in Case of Emergency

I may not always seem around, so just in case, I thought I’d leave you this little reminder:

You are loved.

Despite your best efforts, you are accepted for who you are. Not for who you pretend to be to the people who think they know you, not for what you can do or what you think you bring to the table, but for you. You see, perfect love drives out all fear. One of the biggest fears you have is that after revealing who you are and what you've done, or had done to you, that people will pull back from you. Yet I’m still here. I haven’t run. In fact, the more I learn about you, the more I love you.

Deal with that.

I’m sorry you’ve had your heart broken. I’m sorry that trust is so hard won and intimacy so rare. I’m sorry that you hurt. When you are busy beating yourself up over mistakes you’ve made, remember, I believe in you, even when you don’t believe in yourself. I’m more patient with you than you are with yourself.

When you are alone in the dark, when you believe the lie that you are unloved and unloveable, you have to deal with the reality of my presence in your life that tells you that’s not the case. I am as close and as far away as you need me to be. Try to ignore my voice, that’s fine, but I’m going to keep reminding you that you have a beauty that is you. You have worth because you are.

I may not always be able to hold you, to comfort you like I should, but you’ll always have my promises to believe in.

You are loved.

Don’t be afraid to love. Don’t be afraid to let me love you.


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Friday Night Date Place - Becoming a Prayer Warrior

(Or “Why doesn’t God hear my whining?”)

Dear Whining, Begging Searcher,

You Ever wish that you could skip ahead in the book of your life and see who you’re going to marry so that you can more easily weed through the dross and skip the heartaches?

You are not alone.

When I was in my early 20s, laying on my bed late at night, alone, prospects for finding someone pretty grim (thinking about moving out of country to get a fresh start), I made the following prayer to God: God let me at least meet the person I’m supposed to marry. A sincere, if nonsensical (especially in retrospect), prayer borne of desperation. Not one of my brighter moments. One, it was so vague a prayer as to be little more than gibberish (thank you Jesus for interceding for us). Two, it failed to take into account God’s sense of humor: I had actually met the woman I was going to marry in junior high school. And hated her.

In everything we do we are to glorify God (I Cor. 10:31), including how we go about dating. We are to practice the presence of God, finding Him in the little things, including dating. In the same way, we can learn about and encounter God in whole new ways as we go about the dating process. If nothing else, my prayer for a mate experience taught me to be more specific in my prayers to God, or at least pray in such a way that I would recognize His answer.

Speaking of those late, lonely nights of singleness, those are often the times most likely to lead to frustration. With your situation and with God. “Why did you make me this way, to burn with passion, and not provide any relief?” We find ourselves getting angry with Him. It’s been so long. You are so lonely. Does He even love you? He’s a big God. You can, and He wants you to (Ps. 51:6), be honest with Him. And, if you cross that line, He offers forgiveness (I Jn. 1:9).

God has His reasons for not answering, or answering in ways you don’t appreciate. Your job is to keep the faith during the silence. Remember that He is good. Remember what the Bible teaches us about His character. Remember that He has a plan for your life (Rom. 8:28 is a “cliche” for a reason). Remember the times that He was faithful in the past. He is consistently faithful, even in the midst of suffering. He can help you through it. Remember the prayer of Mark 9:24: “‘I believe. Help me overcome my unbelief.’”

Remember, there is a higher purpose for your singleness. Your life is bigger than focusing only on the next phase of your life, if indeed you are called to that life. You are more than your marital state. Life is more than marriage, as is the work you are called to be doing, and the person you are called to be. So here are some suggestions for prayers:

-Support each other in prayer. You and your other single friends bearing one another up.
-Be grateful for where you are and what you have.
-Don’t take relationships (any relationship: God, friends, or family) for granted.
-Patience. To be still.
-Holiness.
-Contentment (okay, since we’re talking about the lonely, especially single feeling occasions, begging Him to reveal the slightest glimpse of hope).

I’m not going to say don’t pray for your future spouse. Some people think that it is your duty to send helpful hints to God. Pray for their moral character or temptations that they may be facing. Okay, I guess. I tend to think that as you date, you would be better off praying that you don’t choose or settle for someone of weak moral character. Pray for discernment to recognize what He wants.

Prayer is good ... just remember that God is more than just some cosmic genie.

Sincerely,

Married Guy Who Thanks God He Doesn’t Have to Date Anymore



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My Name is Earl

“You know the kind of guy who does nothing but bad things and then wonders why his life sucks? That was me. Every time something good happened to me, something bad was always waiting around the corner. Karma. That's when I realized I had to change. So, I made a list of everything bad I've ever done and one by one I'm gonna make up for all my mistakes. I'm just trying to be a better person. My name is Earl.”

So goes the intro for My Name is Earl. The premise is simple: Earl’s (marvelously portrayed by Jason Lee) life was full of mistakes and poor choices, the kind of self-made bad drama that fuels many of our lives. A man just this side of naive, yet impossible to dislike, one day wins a small lottery, but then is promptly hit by a car. While recuperating in the hospital, he has an epiphany. There is a sort of balance to the universe, a cosmic justice that demands a payment, or retribution, for the wrongs one may have committed.

One wouldn’t think this would be the fodder for one of the funniest sitcoms on the air, which points to the sharpness of the writing and the supporting cast. Playing a string of trailer park misfits, we have Earl’s brother Randy (Ethan Suplee), their illegal immigrant friend (and oblivious romantic interest of Randy) Catalina (Nadina Velazquez), Earl’s harridan of an ex-wife Joy (Jaime Pressly), and her other baby’s daddy Darnell (Eddie Steeples). A passel of engaging characters rarely seen on network television. The comedy usually arises from Earl’s grand schemes to make right going horribly, horribly awry.

“Karma has a plan for me.” –Earl

We too have this sense of right and wrong written onto our hearts, wired into our very being. Though we may believe we’re all basically good people, we also have a sense that our lives are on some sort of scale and if the good we’ve done outweighs the bad, we’ll be fine - in the eternal consequences sort of way.

Karma becomes Earl’s religion and he becomes its prophet. This Karmic idea of God is an incomplete picture of Him, often leading to the image, especially as practically lived out in the reality of our spiritual journeys, of God hiding behind bushes waiting to smite us when we screw up.

“I like thinking about the journey it must have taken to get here.” –Randy

Earl leads what could be described as a purpose driven life. Despite being poor and uneducated, Earl comes up with a rather sophisticated self-salvation scheme. He seeks atonement and true to his understanding of atonement, he seeks out opportunities to repent. Not just to apologize, but to do something about it - an act of penitence - in order to truly change his life. He wants a better life for himself, wants to be a better man, and knows that this isn’t the end of his journey. He’s fully aware that he has a long way to go, but he clings to his hope that “ne day we will be seen as the perfect people we were on that one perfect day.”

For all of its morality tale trappings, My Name is Earl is the best kind of comedy. It radiates heart and warmth while not skimping on the laughs. Paired with The Office, My Name is Earl makes for a grand hour. Methinks the laments of the death of the sitcom might be a bit premature.


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Miami Vice

“Style over Substance. Again.”

It’s not like I went into Miami Vice with high expectations, fully prepared for another buddy cop movie to steal two hours of my life. In this era of small screen to silver screen leaps, usually spoofing the source material in the transition, the talent collective of Mann, Foxx, and Farell should be enough to sustain some hope for at least a grand mess. We get a pretty flat mess instead.

Writer-director Michael Mann (Last of the Mohicans, The Insider, Ali, Heat) returns to his roots, updating the series he executive produced from 1984-1989. Detective James “Sonny” Crockett (Colin Farrell) and Detective Ricardo Tubbs (Jamie Foxx) are our no-nonsense (and no chemistry having) cops for a new generation. The “MTV cops” lose a lot of their glam, opting instead to take themselves much too seriously.

Part of what made the original show work was how it eschewed the reality of police work for a more salacious peek at the underworld. Mann kept the trappings of the show, letting the guys play with all of the cool toys (boats, cars, planes, women, yes, women were always little more than disposable objects, etc.) but aimed for a more mature look. The jittery, hand held camera work and grainy night lens look he employed with his last team up with Foxx in Collateral enhances the dark, brooding mood. It would make sense for Mann to explore the creativity and freedom that an R-rating might give him, however, the profanity, nudity (shall I note that these are some of the most gratuitously clean characters that I’ve seen in a while), and violence (the sheer level of brutality was the only thing to enliven the movie) had the feeling Mann was doing stuff just because he could.

The viewer gets dropped in the middle of the story: an overly complicated tale of white supremists, Columbian drug lords, and botched FBI operations. Luckily, we have our (deputized to do whatever they need to do) Miami-Dade police. There was so much authentic sounding jargon flying about, the characters were like talking tech books in a drug undercover procedural (peppered with random cliches and stilted fragments, not giving the actors much to work with).

Because of the setting, the movie is thick with a kind of swaggering machismo: guns and sex and drugs following the credo of whoever has the most toys when he dies (in a testosterone-fest of splattering blood), wins.

“Who are you?” Isabella (Gong Li)

Miami Vice relies on our familiarity with the characters, which is all we have to go on as none of the characters have any identity of their own. They are names and mission with no room for anything else. The performances come off as wooden (Farrell - a charismatic hardbody with bad hair) or sullen (Foxx - strangely restrained, not allowed to demonstrate much wit or warmth). Though Foxx’s Tubbs felt more of an equal partner to Crockett (so the movie didn’t feel like an episode of “Sonny and friends”), the rest of the relationships felt so contrived that not even the characters seemed to buy them.

“There is undercover and there is ‘which way is up?’” –Det. Tubbs

There is a lot that this movie meant to explore. Undercover cops successfully lead lives of duplicity and secrecy for months on end. With their fabricated identities, they are often so undercover as to lose their moral compass. We all face a similar situation living in a fallen world, not sure of our true identities (or our own moral compasses for that matter). Sometimes, like Isabella, this is the only thing, the only world, we know. With the constant deception, fear, broken relationships, and death, this undercover world finds many otherwise good people on the wrong side of the law.

The bottom line is that, Miami Vice retains the rhythms of the show, feeling like a particularly drawn out episode. It could have been an insightful meditation on identity and duality, examining where the good guy stops and the bad guy, the “outlaw attitude,” begins. Instead, it has a convoluted plot, meant to imply depth - as opposed to messy story-telling; a dour and humorless cast of characters; and gritty for grittiness’ sake. No pastels, no percolating pop tunes (besides a poor cover of Phil Collins’ “In the Air Tonight”), it is a grim, though stylized, exercise in atmosphere-buoyed, by-the-numbers crime yarn.

The war on drugs never ends. Thankfully, this movie did.


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The Lady in the Water

“Man may have forgotten how to listen.” –Narrator

The Lady in the Water first and foremost, as we’re told, is a fairy tale. The problem afflicting M. Night Shyamalan movies is that people now go into them expecting/anticipating “the twist”. A lot of the reason why his movies have experienced mixed reviews is that the viewer is often promised one kind of movie, but comes out having experienced some thing different. The Sixth Sense wasn’t a horror movie, it was about a boy coming to terms with himself. Signs wasn’t an alien invasion movie, it was the story of a man wrestling with grief and faith. Then Unbreakable and The Village, which brings us to The Lady in the Water. The strength (and some would say weakness) of this movie is that it is so intentionally allegorical, however, the key to deciphering The Lady in the Water is realizing that it purposefully seeks to tell the story of Christ within our cultural context.

“You have to believe that this all makes sense somehow.” --Cleveland Heep (Paul Giamatti)

The Lady in the Water tells an ancient story, interpreting this story in a (postmodern) cultural context, re-examining this tale by connecting the ancient to the future to find faith. It starts with the Blue World, the spiritual realm home to all manner of beings, namely Narfs. The Narfs are guides, sea nymphs-cum-muses, desperate to impart their knowledge and warnings to vessels (mankind). The natural predator of the Narfs are Scrunts, grass-fleshed creatures that prowl around like roaring lions. Should a Scrunt break the rules that govern the Blue World, they are punished by the Tartutic, essentially angels, though not all that different in appearance than their “fallen” brethren, though more simian. Once a Narf has fulfilled her mission, she is carried off by a giant eagle, the Great Eatlon.

“I think we are linked.” –Young-Soon Choi (Cindy Cheung)

Cleveland Heep (Paul Giamatti), once a doctor, spends his time helping those around him in the most mundane of ways, as the superintendent of The Cove apartments. The building is filled with colorful characters, going about the routine of their lives, each allotted their space in The Cove. Enter Story (Bryce Dallas Howard), the tale made flesh. Cleveland believes that he has no purpose, but “all beings have a purpose,” Story corrects. Cleveland personified that, as a vessel, we want to be known, we want to have the journals of our hearts read. No one is ever told who they are, but at some point, someone has to come along to reveal the truth of their natures to them, and the truth about the Story.

“Does man deserve to be saved?” –Mr. Leeds (Bill Irwin)

Though the theme of figuring out what is truly important (and who you are) runs through all of Shyamalan’s movies, the viewer is still tempted to play guess the twist. However, the twist reveals itself midway through the movie: that everyone has a part to play. Everyone has a gift to be used to carry out their mission in life. The biggest twist of all? That the weak, the seeming useless, are the ones who play the most important roles.

Even Story herself isn’t above being on a journey. Story comes to give purpose, provide a clarity about the nature of the vessels and the world around them. She wrestles with her own messianic consciousness, coming to terms with her fulfilling her role as a meta-Narf. At one point, the movie didn’t seem to stick to its internal rules (as the Narfs aren’t told of their own importance), however, Story is the fulfillment of the rules.

“He’s hearing the voice of God through a crossword puzzle.” –Anna Ran (Sarita Choudhury)

After all of their ancient-future examination of the story of Story, the residents of The Cove realize life is about seeing God at work in the ordinary. Believing that this is a magic infused world, filled with wonder and mystery; that our every action has meaning and eternal consequence. This world is about finding your purpose and joining in the mission, using your gifts, to be a blessing to one another. Only the arrogance of certainty (in the form of the movie critic, Harry Farber (Bob Balaban)) proves to be one’s spiritual undoing. Even the skeptic, Mr. Leeds, stumbling around trying to find meaning in a meaningless existence, wants “to believe in something other than the awfulness.”

The movie is about finding faith. Sometimes we feel like we have to throw out logic, but rather we, like Cleveland, have to become child-like in order to fully grasp the Story. We are all searching for a Story to provide meaning. Obviously, Story is the Christ figure (the movie revolving around her death, resurrection, and ascension being a very big clue). The Eagle landing on her like the Holy Spirit after Christ’s baptism, since rain, as we are told, is a symbol of purification and rebirth. Her return to her home in the heavens leaves Cleveland only capable of saying “Thank You for saving my life.”

This movie has a spirit of magic about it, not necessarily inherent to it, but because it takes pains to grab us by the collar and tell us how magical it is. Thoroughly explaining its magic in case we don’t get it. M. Night Shyamalan’s movies are intentional to the point of being contrived if not heavy-handed. Often accused of making self-indulgent movies (Exhibit E: he casts himself as the writer whose work may not be understood in his lifetime but will affect major changes in the world), either you track with them or you don’t. The Lady in the Water is full of his quirky sensibilities and humor, trying to operate on a meta-level of self-aware criticism (again, back to the movie critic). More intriguingly, the movie is full of his faith which tries to convey the power and importance of fairy tales and myth, the power of story, to transform lives. His reverence to the idea of story-telling bogs down the movie, bordering on pretentious; but if you can go with the movie maybe you can join in the glee of his child-like wonder.


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Favorite Comic Book Movie Adaptations

Now that I’m the comic book reviews editor for Hollywood Jesus, I started thinking about what comic books have best made the leap to the big screen. Here’s the list that I came up with:

1. Batman Returns
2. Spiderman II/I
-These movies set the standard for how comic book adaptations should be done. A heady mix of action and great cinema as well as being true to the spirit of their original works.

3. Road to Perdition/Lone Wolf and Cub (Lightning Swords of Death, etc.) series - I count these as basically from the same work. Road to Perdition was Max Allan Collins doing Lone Wolf and Cub
4. V for Vendetta - no, the movie wasn’t strictly “faithful” to Alan Moore’s original source material, but it was a great flick.
5. Sin City - this was not so much an adaptation as much as it was a transliteration. A panel-by-panel birthing to the silver screen. It’s what true comic geeks say we want.
6. X-Men I/II - Truly wonderful works; too bad the third entry couldn’t live up to the first two.
7. Ghost World - a little known indy comic made good.
8. Men in Black - ditto.
9. Constantine - I’ll say it again, though I am somewhat of a fan of Hellblazer (the Ennis and Ellis runs), the movie was more ... comfortable for me to watch and best illustrates the power of religious horror.
10. Hellboy - I am a big fan of the comic and this film was pure fun crafted by a fanboy.


Nearly Made the Cut
Blade II (but definitely not Blade: Trinity) - from the same fanboy that brought us Hellboy.
From Hell - more love for Alan Moore’s comics.
The Crow
History of Violence

Brilliant Messes (Honorable Mentions)
Hulk
Daredevil
Superman Returns
The Punisher

Let the nerd debates begin.


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Getting Snipped

I don't like Blogs. Especially for writers. I think that they destroy the writer's mystique. You don't need to know what I had for breakfast, how I coordinate my underwear drawer, or what me and my wife fight about (which, as far as any of you are concerned is nothing. We rarely fight. She's bigger than I am. And crazy. But you don't need to know that either). ... So you won't be reading about my struggles with premature ejaculation or anorexia or any of the numerous way-too-personal things that I see on other blogs.

That was from my first blog ever. Admittedly, I’ve broken this mandate on numerous occasions. And today is no exception. It starts with a pet peeve of mine: people casually as the most intrusive personal questions.

If you are single, people, well-intentioned or not, feel the need to ask if you are dating or if you have a special someone. If you are dating, you get asked “when are you getting married?” If you are married, you get asked “when are you having kids?” [As an aside, I was only ever asked this one and a half times. The first time I was asked this, I announced to the crowd of interested friends, family, and fellow church attendees, which page of the Kama Sutra me and my new bride was working on. The “half” time I was asked happened when my friend was asked this question. Now, she was sitting right next to me - and had actually just found out she was pregnant - but was asked by someone she barely knew. So I asked if I could answer the question for her. She gave me the nod. So I went on a several minute harangue about their heartache of trying and trying to get pregnant with no success. And how every time the question is asked, it was like the wound being re-opened. But otherwise, thanks for asking. Actually, I’m still at a loss why I didn’t fit in better at that church.]

All of this brings me to the question that we get asked. We’ve been married six years. We have two boys, Reese (Maurice the Second, retroactively making me “Maurice the Great”; age 5) and Malcolm (Malcolm Xavier, who was to be just Malcolm X, but my wife wanted the X to stand for something and she vetoed the name “Xerxes”. The name was also chosen before we knew he was going to be blonde and blue-eyed. Age 4).

(L-R - Malcolm and Reese - the faces of evil)

Let me save you the trouble. No, we aren’t having anymore. No, we weren’t big Malcolm in the Middle fans and aren’t planning on having a Dewey. When we first got married, we talked about having five kids. (Contrary to the rumors, I was not going to name all of the kids after myself. I was going to name the first two BOYS after me - I would have called the third Maurice “Tre” - that way in case something happened to one of them, I’d still have a namesake. Oddly enough, my wife found this objectionable).



Then we had the first boy (Part I and Part II). Five became three. Then we had the second. And we knew we were done. Our working theory became with two kids we could still play man-to-man defense. Any more than that and we’d have to shift to a zone defense. Unfortunately, this meant that one of us had to get fixed.

And it wasn’t going to be me.

Yeah, yeah, call me a sexist all you want. I want to keep the account open. I want to keep the dream alive. Simply put, I live by a code. Like I tell my boys, "no bad touches" - which in my case means no lasers and/or no sharp implements down there. Okay, that and my wife didn’t trust me. For some reason she was convinced that I would fake going to the doctor’s appointment, but would still sit around the house for a weekend “recuperating.” And we'd end up with a Dewey.

Don’t you hate it when I’m procrastinating from starting new projects? You get me destroying the author’s mystique ... one humiliating blog at a time.



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Procrastinating Online

Not that I have a lot to do right now, with no deadlines for anything looming over the horizon, I still find myself needing to while away my days on the Internet. It's either that or start new projects. Three things have me distracted at the moment:

1. I blame this little find on The Poobah. I don't know from what depths he unearthed this, but we have 1500 music videos from the 80s. If for no other reason than because this gem had to be preserved for the ages.

2. I don't know whether to be offended or amused, but do you want to make your words down for the hood? Try running them through http://gizoogle.com/ And yes, someone has run my blog through this.

3. Need to know how sinful you are?

Your Deadly Sins

Pride: 40%

Envy: 20%

Gluttony: 20%

Sloth: 20%

Greed: 0%

Lust: 0%

Wrath: 0%

Chance You'll Go to Hell: 14%

You will die of malnutrition, after the Olson twins make dying of malnutrition trendy.

How Sinful Are You?

(Which is an improvement because originally I had an envy problem and was fated to “You will die at the hands of a jealous lover. How ironic.”)

Alright. Time to actually get some things done.



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New HJ Comics Editor

At Hollywood Jesus, we try and engage culture (as opposed to the all too often Christian stance of throwing stones at, and withdrawing from, it). You see, many Christians take the position to retreat from "the world" that way their spirituality won't be corrupted by disparate elements. This is a by-product, I believe, of a highly individualized Gospel message that basically concerns itself with that individual getting their soul “saved”. A kind of “fire” insurance faith. But, that’s a different debate.

The goal of HJ is to apply our faith in such a way that it is culturally relevant. A friend of mine said that this is a perpetual challenge in any culture. The gospel must be culturally relevant or it will not gain a hearing. Since all cultures possess negative elements, the gospel must also challenge the culture. There is a fine-line between a culturally-captive and a culturally-relevant gospel.

On a practical level, this means that we accept the general conceit to try and find God in all things. You see, I don't like to live my life in some sort of schizophrenic, dualistic hell: this stuff over here is holy vs. this stuff over there is "worldly". I prefer to live with an "all things can be redeemed" mentality. When it comes to art, my belief starts with the fact that all people are created in God's image. All people have what's been called a "God sized hole" within them that causes them to wrestle with certain ideas and questions. And as they seek to answer these questions or respond to these ideas, it comes out in their art. I try to pick up on that thread.

I have a love of story and I believe that our faiths are informed by the idea of story. And vice versa. In fact, viewing art this way has had other practical side effects: I’ve learned to look at people this way too. Our lives are stories and all a part of a greater story. That means each person I encounter is a story, that has “something redeemable” about them, that can be (and is already) connected back to Christ. It has helped train me to meet people where they are, without trying to make them into “what they should be” before embracing them.

Wow. This is a really long way to say that along with the re-vamp of the Hollywood Jesus web site, I’ve been made the new comic books reviews editor. (Don’t think it went unnoticed that I got the nod too late to go to the San Diego con. Our editor in chief, every bit the comic nerd, is heading there himself. Of course.) No more “blogging adultery,” having to tend that blog and this one. I am down to this one - so some reviews may pop up from time to time over here. Since I can only barely afford to keep collecting, this will help out. Which reminds me, creators and publishers, if you have a comic you want me to review, drop me a line. Hollywood Jesus does get close to a million hits a day. Finally, using my nerd powers for Jesus!


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Horror is Not a Genre

This past weekend, in my continuing efforts to introduce my wife to some of my fellow writers, the Broaddus family went to a farm in Missouri in order to visit with the lovely and gracious Melinda Thielbar, with John C. Hay dropping by. During one of our late night discussions fueled by NECon envy, the question came up whether or not horror was a genre (and by discussion, I mean an official John C. Hay rant).

Horror is not a genre.

Horror is an emotive element, but it is not a genre.

Though we may experience some periodic hand-wringing about the state of the market, the “market” will remain this nebulous, ill-defined idea awaiting collapse. Horror can be rather hard to define, partly because it’s a genre that often finds itself running from its own label. I don’t write horror, I writer “dark fiction” or “supernatural suspense” or “bizarro fiction”. At its core, horror is about fear, an attempt to get a cathartic release from dealing with what scares us - be it the unknown or ultimately, our fear of death. However, there are no characteristics - no archetypes or tropes - that are always true for the genre or without which a story is not a part of the genre.

For example, fantasy (high, low, dark, whatever) always involves otherworldly elements. Sci-Fi without science is not sci-fi (thus making Star Wars fantasy with science trappings). There is nothing that people classically associate with a horror novel where if you put them in, you have a horror novel. The closest thing to a trope that horror has is ... scary.

Is scary enough to define a genre?

What about the individual creature tropes? The vampire novel could almost be considered a genre. It has to have a vampire in it. But that doesn’t make it a horror novel. It could be a paranormal romance. It could be The Vampire Lestat. In neither case does it mean that it’s scary. The same could be said with werewolf stories.

Blame it on Stephen King. He made it into a genre, through no fault of his own. He was so different from everything else that was out there that book sellers had to put him somewhere. And they had to have somewhere to direct people who wanted something “like Stephen King.” So essentially, horror was a bookstore creation, but “like Stephen King” can’t define a genre (even though much of what is put out merely aims to be “like Stephen King”).

People write and publish as a genre. We like labels and we have to know where to put things. Plus, we like to belong and there are a lot of dark fiction writers looking for a sense of belonging. Though there may not be a way to effectively define the genre, and we may argue over what it it we write, horror is what we call our little corner of the literary universe. Emphasis on little.


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Party for Your Right to Porn

Two inmates are suing the Indiana Department of Correction to overturn a new policy that bars magazines and other printed materials that depict nudity or sexual conduct. The lawsuit filed today at the U.S. District Court in Indianapolis seeks class-action status on behalf of more than 20,000 state prisoners and challenges a policy that went into effect July 1 barring adult magazines such as Playboy and Hustler and the motorcycle magazine Easyriders.

You know, it doesn’t matter how much corrections officers are making, they are officially not paid enough. Their sole focus is corralling the worst elements society has to offer. First cable was taken out of prisons. Then they banned cigarettes. And now they have banned ... relief. If prisons weren’t powder kegs waiting to blow before, I surely wouldn’t want to be the guard in charge of enforcing this policy. I guess it boils down to your view of what prisons should be: punitive or rehabilitative.

I think that the knee-jerk reaction is to say that prisons are meant to be harsh. That the prisoners are not entitled to any of the freedoms we take for granted, as long as their treatment is not cruel or unusual, which a lack of porn does not fall into. Maybe my vision of what prison is like is shaped too much by Oz, but I don’t buy the idea of a country club prison. At the very least, you are cut off from your friends and family, existing, your every movement dictated by someone else. It’s not a life and it’s not your own. Luxuries to entertain or pass the time more quickly - from cable to video games, to porn - aren’t rights.

But they do help you to retain some measure of sanity. And sometimes, humanity.

On the rehabilitative side of things, I can’t help but think that they’d be better off without it. While some people would argue against this, we’re back to asking ourselves how does porn form us and into what does it form us? It’s not a celebration of beauty or sex. There is no story with which to interact (so no reviews of “Guzzling Sluts III” for Hollywood Jesus from me). It reduces sex to the act, the mechanics, teaches/reinforces objectification and communicates physical gratification as the endgame of sex. Pornography creates unreal dreams/expectations about sex, deadens libido for sex with real people, and people are reduced to means to an end. In the end, porn makes sex individualistic, something done alone. Personally, I try to think about how one pouring the time spent chasing porn into spending time with their spouse would increase the healthiness of their relationship.

Though somehow I doubt these are pressing issues for one and their cell mate.

Hmm. Maybe we need to ban prisoner access to law libraries. When you outlaw porn, only outlaws will have porn. Or something like that.


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Care and Feeding of My Career

My new blogging leaf that I turned over hasn’t gone as well as I had hoped. My new goal is to not do blogs that are longer than one page. As I write this, I write everything long hand first, I am already circumventing this rule by writing in the margins. So if I go long, that’s why.

I just received an earful from the literary diva, Chesya Burke. It’s important for writers to have close writer friends, and she is probably my closest. However, this was one of those conversations that make you regret having writer friends. She loves starting conversations with “do you know what your problem is?” instead of “hello.” Turns out that I didn’t, but luckily for me, she was there to tell me. It boiled down to two things:

1. I do too many things for no money. My wife, the one I’m actually married to, agrees and thus my writing emancipation proclamation. I’ve come to the conclusion that writers and ministry workers buy two different versions of the same reality: “for exposure” vs. “for ministry.” Either way, folks end up justifying having no business plan as doing it “for the love” or “for the Lord.” “I want to build up a fan base” is little different than the rationalization of “if just one person comes to know Christ, it was all worth it.” Both equal your project shutting down. THEN who are you reaching?

2. I spend too much time waiting for things to happen. My first novel is at two different publication houses. The respective editors know this, so no worries. I’ve spoken with them periodically and though it is going on three years, I’ve been assured that no news is good news. I’m content with that. I’ll keep writing stories in the mean time that way I’ll have follow up books for when “it” happens. Patience, I was informed by her royal highness, is strangling my career. It’s me ducking the business side of writing. Editing projects into shape. Putting together submission packages. Hunting down an agent. I do none of that, but choose to pursue all manner of other non-paying work. And there’s no shortage of opportunities for people willing to work for no money. Thus I never seem to get anywhere nor get those other stories written.

After her rant, which was meant to be edifying despite its profanity-laced vitriol, she asked if she was wrong. This is the moment where she awaits the words she never tires of hearing: “you’re right, Chesya.” Not that she hears them often. Mostly because despite our geographical separation of half a country, you can actually hear her happy dance. Don’t get me wrong, her looking out for my career was not at odds her own self-interests (read: if you translate Chesya-speak, her concern ran along the lines of “you do too many things for other people instead of yourself. However, you can keep doing stuff for me.”)

Of course I could probably find time to do more by shutting down my blog. For the amount that I blog, I could be producing 2-3 short stories a week. I suppose I could look at my blogging as being paid to write, as long as I keep writing my blogs while at work. I’m a writer. I write. Maybe one day I’ll make a collection of my essays and self-publish them. After all, my blog gives me exposure.

And if just one person comes to know Christ ...



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Black is Here

A new billboard advert for Sony's white PSP has caused consternation across the US videogaming community. The ad shows a white model dressed entirely in white threateningly grasping the face of a black model. Next to them are the words, "PlayStation Portable. White is coming".

Thanks to Jay Voorhees for pointing out our failure to remember. In this world of racial tensions, where we are still trying to figure out how to relate to one another’s stories, we still have companies who exploit or remain willfully ignorant of the messages they are sending.

Besides conjuring up images of cruel slave-owner and bug-eyed cowering slave, I’m not sure what this ad is supposed to convey. Sure, I could be simply looking for something to be offended by, but images reflect as well as shape how we view one another. Now, Burger King got rid of all evidence of their ill-conceived ad campaign featuring the BK Rebel Unit delivering chicken fries to the hood. But what the hell is wrong with Snickers?

Don’t forget, it was just this time last year that we were talking about Mexico issuing those racist stamps:








Images mean things.


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The Sentence that Will Make My Wife Quit Her Job

"No, Malcolm. After you set your pants on fire you can't still wear them."



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The Eternals

written by Neil Gaiman
art by John Romita Jr.
published by Marvel Comics

“Intelligent Designer”

“Have you ever wondered about the origins of intelligent life on this planet ... I’m talking about the purpose of life. The meaning of everything. Why we’re here.” –Ikaris

Every time Neil Gaiman does a comic book, it is an event. Vaulted to comic book deity status after his epic run on Sandman, he has gone on to writing acclaimed novels (American Gods, Anansi Boys), but has never strayed far from his true love of comics. It has been nearly three years since his last project for Marvel, 1602, and now he examines what it means to be a god in The Eternals.

This borders on sacrilege, but I was never a fan of Jack Kirby’s Eternals. It was like poorly thought out New Gods stuff for a different company. Somewhere in there lay an interesting story, though I thought the whole “aliens created life on this planet” angle a little cliche--and the whole thing buried in more than a little cheesiness, even for its day. And the property hasn’t been handled especially well since (excepting some of the ideas incorporated into Earth X, which wove the history of the Celestials into the Marvel Universe seamlessly).

However, the ideas are ripe for Neil Gaiman to re-visit.

They provide the toys he loves to play with most: large mythology, strange concepts, a sense of family, and big ideas. The task is to reacquaint us with the characters slowly, revamp them, and then add them back to the Marvel universe. In a major continuity break, the Celestials don’t create life on this planet but rather take proto-humanity and create two distinct races from it: the Eternals, who become the archetypes of the pantheon of gods worshiped by many early cultures; and the Deviants, who become the demonic aspects and images. So, between the world of angels and demons battling, man thrived.

Skip to today.

Mark Curry leads an ordinary life as an intern at a large hospital. He encounters a madman, Ike Harris, who claims that they are actually 500,000 years old and imbued with incredible powers, though he and the rest had forgotten their old life. From here, the journey for the truth to their reality begins.

“I know my designers were intelligent. I just don’t know what they wanted me for.” –Ikaris

The theme of remembering that we are tied to the divine or that there is this secret/spiritual side to our reality reverberates through much of Gaiman’s work. Like us, the Eternals have an eternal aspect to them, but have forgotten who they are and have to go through a journey to discover/remember what they were meant to be. All under the conceit that where there is a design to creation, there must be a designer.

The Eternals may feel like a bit of a letdown, but only for those who had unreal expectation from whenever they hear that Gaiman has picked up a pen to write a comic book. With great characterization and his typically wonderful dialogue, there is a mystery to be unfolded. And few do it better than Neil Gaiman.


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Guns and Poses

Indiana is the first state in the nation to offer residents lifetime handgun permits under a new law that went into effect this month -- a move hailed by Second Amendment supporters and blasted by gun-control advocates.

"This is a day we are very proud of," said [State Rep. Troy A.] Woodruff. "We are looking out for the law-abiding citizens of Indiana. If they follow the law, they shouldn't have to go through the hassle of renewing a permit every four years."

Right now you may have the image of gun-toting rednecks with a unfettered license to carry weapons well into senility. If not, I do. Sure the law increases the cost of getting or renewing the four-year license and is supposed to bring in more money to Indiana and our state police, but you know what?

I want a little hassle for gun owners.

I have a hassle to renew my driver’s license and though we’ve lengthened the time between having to renew our driving licences, we certainly won’t be letting our citizens get a once and for all license to drive.

A background check isn’t enough. Gun-safety training should be mandatory. People should have to periodically re-qualify and prove their proficiency with firearms. I don’t care who has guns, just don’t be crazy, don’t be criminal, and I’d like periodic checks to make sure you ain’t gone crazy.

Plus, we ought to make Chris Rock’s advice into law and charge $5000 for a bullet.


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Three Monastic Vows

Being more naturally a people of grace and love takes training. Spiritual formation that focuses on one thing, God, to develop a faith that is holistic, affecting all parts of our lives. To be so devoted to God, so saturated in His presence, that we orient all aspects of our lives, our work, our play, our talk, such that they revolve around Him. As a community, we gather to know God better and live life together.

Every monastic community lives by certain values. Just as each member lives by a rule of life, the entire community lives by a credo. Vows if you will. Here are three such monastic vows:

The idea of living by a code of poverty works out differently in the context of modern American society. Many of us may be broke, but have little to no idea what true poverty is. The idea behind a vow of poverty is one of simplicity. It’s about not being controlled by money, things, or greed. Not being distracted by the things, the materialism, of our culture. Some times it means ordering your finances around God, but it can include lifestyles of conservation and a spirit of generosity.

Chastity is a discipline. It means abstinence before marriage and fidelity within marriage. Chastity is about the pursuit of purity. Chastity is the commitment to have sex in its proper place. It starts with not wanting to be controlled by lust. Sexuality is a part, a vital part, of humanity and our identity, which is why we must be committed to pure and whole living. This is also the catch-all vow that includes the ideas of decency, respect, and modesty in how we carry ourselves and how we treat others.

The spirit of obedience goes beyond sticking to the letter of the law, but rather the trickier adhering to the spirit of the law. With obedience comes the attitudes of peacemaking, endurance, respect, cooperation, and sacrifice. We are to make disciples, form one another in the way of Christ. The path of discipleship is a long journey of obedience in the same direction.

Here’s the thing, spiritual formation takes a long time, a life time of repentance. No one promised it would be easy. We need “tools” to help us along the way, practices that keep pointing us back to God. In I Corinthians 5:16, Paul gives a few of his spiritual disciplines.

1. Perpetual rejoicing - happiness as a spiritual practice? The reality is that we practice misery, self-pity, resentment, and bitterness enough. Sometimes it takes training of your mindset to realize that it is good to be in the presence of God. It is good to be with the people of God.

2. Continual prayer - we rarely thing of prayer as an on-going, constant conversation with God or that our lives are living prayers.

3. Constant thanksgiving - it sounds trite to remind people to count your blessings, but this practice does help develop a spirit of gratefulness. We look at the crapstorms that our lives become and focus on that (back to practicing misery, self-pity, resentment, and bitterness) rather than appreciating all that you have.

4. Living in the Spirit - I can’t get away from experiencing the mystical side of Christian practice. Living in the Spirit is about. not doubting that God can (still) speak to you and into your life. Sometimes it’s about shutting up: spiritual attentiveness and developing the ability to listen. Though it may take different forms or putt at you in different ways, don’t quench the Spirit.

No one said that spiritual growth would be easy. Doing so in community allows us to be there for each other, encourage each other to keep going, picking each other up when we stumble. And vows unites the communities already on a common path around a common method.


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Friday Night Date Place: Marc Davidson’s Dating Tips Part II

As I mentioned last week, a regular on my message board, Marc Davidson, took it on himself to work my side of the street and start a thread on my board about dating. Since I have pressing deadlines on a few projects, I thought that I would collect his tips for the blog. Here are his last few tips:

11. This was going to be on the first kiss, but I don't know how to talk about it without making Chritian singles stumble, and I don't want Jesus being mad at me.

12. Kissing part 1. How can you tell if she wants you to kiss her? She sits real close to you, always getting into your "space". She touches you a lot. She looks you right in the eye.

13. Kissing Part II: Making the Kiss. I am a firm believer that you should never just kiss a woman you never kissed before without first asking her permission. I cannot think of too many instnces where not asking would be okay. I don't think it spoils a moment to ask first,, plus, it demonstrates that you respect her and resepct her space.

Don't get all slopply with it by using the tongue (let her take the lead on that). And don't let lead to something else. Plus, don't kiss her unless you are pretty sure that you really want to be with this person and you know enough about her to know that you want a serious relationship. I don't care what anyone says, kissing is a big deal, and if you know how to do it right, it can be just as intimate as sex, sometimes even more so. So if you are not careful, you could wind up in a stupid relationship just because you like the intimacy and the physical encounter. And as I said before, you really don't want to go there. It is not worth it.

I was thining that I was going teach guys how to kiss, but I thought better of it. I might create a monster. Instead, I will talk about how to get a woman to WANT to kiss you. Besides the obvious (bathe, use deodorant, brush your teeth, use a breath mint) the main thing is to be a good listener, be relaxed, and be comfortable with yourself and her. And don't rush in. Let her feel that you are "safe". Treat her like she is your best friend, and be more interested in getting to know her than her getting to know you. In short, treat her the way that SHE wants to be treated.

14. After the Well Runs Dry. What do you do when the initial excitment of being in a new relationship wears off? Is it time to call it quits and go to the next relationshio? I don't think so. I don't think anyone should date just to date. I think dating should lead to a lasting commitment. When you know that you are compatible with someone and deeply care about them, share core values, and like to kiss 'em too, what else is needed? Newsflash, every relationship will ebb and flow, you are always going to "feel" love towards the person who has got you all hot and bothered right now. I heard a great quote from someone in India talking to an American (I don't remember where I read it though), "You Americans start out hot but end up cold. We Indians (who often times have arranged marriages) start off cold and end up hot."

I think most of us American men have this notion that we are supposed to have the hottest babe who is always multi-orgasmic and ready for hot sex. But when we get in real relationship with a real woman, this notion is destroyed pretty quick. We think thaqt women are here to serve us and to fulfill our deepest fantasies and desires. But women have fantasies and desires too (and expectations that their boyfriends and husbands fulfill them). I don't think that anyone should enter a relationshiip thinking about what they can get out the relationship, but rather, what they can give. I know this, if I want to get hot sex from wife, I have to treat her well, wash the dishes, and be exrra sensitive to her needs, or I ain't getting none. Relationships are hard work, and losing that "loving feeling" is not the end, it is just the beginning.

15. "Breaking up is Hard to Do" Not every relationship works out. You come to a point when after thinking things through, you realize that this person just is not the right fit for you. How do you end a relationship well so that you both really can be friend? I will speak from experience because I have done it both right and wrong.

The wrong way: I dated one woman where the relationship was physical right from the beginning. I later learned that she was very unstable and I knew that I did not want to continue a long term relationship with her. I broke it off with her and she took it really hard, even leaving a rather bitter and disturbed message on my answering machine. Bad break ups happen because of bad beginnings. If the relationship is not built on a solid friendship, the break up will almost always be bad and you will not be able to continue a friendship with that person.

The right way: I dated one young woman in college, there was nothing physical about the relationship. We were both deeply attracted to each other, but it was clear that we were not right for each other. We ended the relationship mutually and remained friends. There was guy who was a friend of mine who actually liked her better than me. He eventually married her and they are doing great.

I had another relationshp with another girlfriend in college. That relationship was pretty physical (well, all we did was kiss), but we really liked each other and were good friends. We ended the relationship, but we would connect from time to time and just smooch. I eventually lost contact with her, but we ended as friends.

I really believe in mutual breakups, and when you limit physical contact, it is easier to end a relationship that makes no sense to continue. I know this is easier said than done, after all, you would not be in a relationship with this person if you didn't find her desirable in some kind of way. I think that this is where faith and accountability come in, you just cannot do it by yourself.

In the second relationship, I was dating a young woman who was in the fellowship that I was a part of, so if I messed I was going to be in big trouble.



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Interview With Wrath James White Part II

Here is the the first part of the interview:

Once you’ve removed God from the equation of your life, where do you find meaning? Why bother getting up and going through the day if everything is random and chance?

Everything is random and chance with or without God. If God exists his laissez faire attitude towards man's struggles would make the question just as relevant. I think that if God existed and this was all just some little game to see who got into heaven I'd refuse to play. Every child who suffers and dies in pursuit of heaven would make it too much of an injustice. I love humanity too much for that. Besides, as a Black Man I would find the entire notion of this blind unquestioning obedience/slavery offensive. For 400 years our people suffered and toiled under the White man's yoke and now we suffer under his God. All we've done is moved the overseer from the plantations to the pulpits and into our very hearts and minds.

I think the fact that a Supreme Being that is acutely concerned with the affairs of man probably does not exists makes the possibility of seeking out some type of meaning for ourselves possible. Because, "it's God's will" was never a good enough answer for me. It's like when a parent answers a child's question with "Because I said so." That's a guarantee that that child will disobey as soon as your back is turned. The answers most religions provide don't do it for me. I'm not the type for blind obedience. I want real answers.

And let's face it, by the time we are old enough to ask the question, "Why are we here?" we have already invested too much sweat and tears to give this existence up without first squeezing all the joy we can out of it. When we reach the point where the effort and struggle it takes to maintain our existence exceeds any joy we could possibly derive from it than it would be quite logical at that point to consider giving up the struggle.

If you had the chance to ask God some questions, what would you ask Him?

I have thought about it quite a bit and I guess the biggest questions I would want answered would be:

"Why are we here?"
"Why do we suffer? What is there to gain from all the pain in this world?"
And most importantly...
"Do you care? And if you do why do you do such a horrible job of showing it? What type of parent stays hidden from the children he claims to love when they so obviously need him?"

It seems like you are working through some serious, spiritual questions in your work. How do you approach intertwining writing and your beliefs? How do your beliefs come through in your writing?

My beliefs are what inspire me to write, or should I say my lack of belief, my thirst for answers. Arguments are my biggest source of inspiration. A lot of what I write are hypothetical situations designed to illustrate some question I am trying to work through in my own head or some point I'm trying to make. I can't stand people who think they have all the answers because it is so clear to me that everyone is floundering around in the dark just like I am. That's probably why you and I get along so well, because we are both at least somewhat open to the possibility that we might be wrong. My writing is my attempt to make people look at and confront the things they claim to believe and admit their own ignorance. I may not have all the answers but it's obvious to me that most everyone else who think they do are even more ignorant than I am. At least I "Don't think I know what I do not know." to quote Socrates.

Why horror? What sort of questions/demons are you trying to work through in your work? Why have you chosen the more graphic end of the horror spectrum to work in? Do you think that limits you or your potential audience?

The beauty of horror is that it envelops just about every other genre Sci-fi, Fantasy, Mystery, Romance, Thrillers, so-called Literary Fiction. It allows for absolute freedom. I tend to like to drive my points home with a sledgehammer and horror allows me to use extreme examples to get my point across. I can show you a human going through unimaginable torment and then ask, "Now what kind of God/political leader/ parent/friend/Lover/or fellow human being would do or allow this to be done to another person? I think it sobers people up and makes them really think about themselves and this world we live in when they read my stuff and realize that no matter how extreme the examples I use are there are people out there doing or suffering through the exact same things I'm describing and worse..Not everyone of course wants this sobering experience. Many people just want simple distraction and escapism and horror is good for that too though perhaps not my writing.

The readership for horror is very small right now compared to what it was but I do believe that it's because most people are just unaware of what's out there. Books have immense competition now between TV, movies, DVDs, and video games and the Book publishers have not responded well to this increased competition. They still do not market authors well if at all. They seem to be in denial or simply resolved to the idea that each new generation is reading less and less. It's sad but true. So, yes, being a horror author limits my readership, but being a writer of any kind right now outside of maybe Westerns and Romance novels means a smaller readership than it did just a decade ago. For me it will always be a labor of love anyway. I’m petrified of the day when I need to do this in order to pay bills.

As writers, we’re gods after a fashion: we create worlds, people it, and often direct the characters actions as much as the characters take on lives of their own and do their own thing. My question is, as “their god,” how do you justify doing what you do to your characters?

The same way you do, anything is permissible if it helps tell the story and I am just grandiose enough to believe that what I have to say is worth torturing and butchering my characters for. Not being a Christian I don't feel the need to pretend to be humble in that or any regard.

What’s up next for you?

I have a novella coming out this summer from Delirium Books called "His Pain". I'm looking now for a publisher for my magnum opus, "Yaccub" a novel that deals with everything from crime and poverty to race, religion, and family. I'm currently working on a novel about inter-racial relationships and slavery titled "400 Days of Oppression". I am taking the advice of the late great Richard Laymon and writing the stories that only I could have written.


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Interview With Wrath James White Part I

(From the World Horror Convention 2002)

For matters of complete disclosure, Wrath James White and I are friends.

For people who know the two of us, that never ceases to amuse them. We are polar opposites. Our writing styles, our lifestyles, our politics, our worldviews, our spiritual perspectives. However, we have more in common than we’re both black: we respect one another. His blog has gained him a host of new fans who normally wouldn’t pick up one of his works, moved by his passion and intellect (yes, he’s even guest blogged for me). We are able to have conversations on some of the prickliest of topics because we listen to one another, we’re not interested in converting one another, and we are genuinely interested in seeing how the other person comes at things, even if we don’t agree.

I recently reviewed his collection of short stories, Book of 1,000 Sins, and wanted to ask him about his beliefs and his work.

How would you describe your beliefs? Atheist? Agnostic? Humanistic?

That's quite a difficult question to answer because I don't know that I've defined them yet. Atheists deny the existence of God. I don't deny that God exists I just doubt that man has the vaguest clue about the creator. I find most religions to be little more than wishful fairytales, manifestations of man's fears and desires and some of them just border on the ridiculous. The idea that the being that created the entire universe would care wether you jacked-off in the bathroom or had sexual desires for a member of the opposite sex just seems absurd. No less absurd however than the idea that a few "Hail Mary's" and an "Our Father" would allow a child molester to enter paradise while a Buddhist goes to hell. What I do deny is the credibility of faith, that it should hold the same weight as empirical evidence as reliable a source of knowledge. I suppose that would make me agnostic.

It sounds as if you want to believe in something. There are all types of faith: faith in science, faith in self, faith in religion. Would you consider yourself a man of faith? What role does faith play in your life?

I consider myself a man of theories and hypothesis. The difference between faith and a hypothesis is that a hypothesis can be proven wrong. When you hold a hypothesis you may want it to be true but you accept the possibility that it may be wrong. You are not committed to one conclusion or another until all the facts are gathered. A hypothesis can be verified or refuted and change based on new evidence. Hypothesis are not considered "Truth". Faith does not allow for refutation. In order for a Hypothesis to be true there has to be a circumstance under which it would be false. For instance if I had a hypothesis that a gasoline engine could run on water I could test that by pouring water into the engine. If the engine runs I'm right if it doesn't I'm wrong and I change my hypothesis to fit this new evidence. Faith allows for no circumstance under which the theories it espouses could be wrong. Faith does not even allow for them to be considered theories but only "Truth" with a capital "T". For instance if I were to ask someone how they would know if God stopped loving them right now they could not answer that because they could never allow for that possibility. If I were to ask what would change in your life if God were to suddenly stop loving you. Would a loved one die? A favorite pet? Would you lose your job? Would you lose your home? Would your health fail? They would have no answer because the belief that God loves you is not based on any empirical evidence but faith in a book. No evidence can refute it because it is not based on evidence. This belief without evidence not only makes things like racism, homophobia, sexism, holy wars, and terrorism possible but inevitable. If your beliefs are not based on anything verifiable all I have to do to get you to hate someone is write in a book that God said you were supposed to hate them or put it in the mouth of a preacher. From there suicide bombers and Kamikaze death pilots are an easy step. It's easy to deny human rights to someone you believe has sinned in the eyes of God. It is easy to hate them when you don't have to give anymore reason for that hate then, "It says so in the bible."

I love humanity and so I am offended by the ills I see caused by faith. All of the positive things faith has done could, in my opinion, have been done just as easily by reason without the risk of intolerance and fanaticism.

Do you allow for the possibility of the existence of God? What would you imagine Him to be?

I believe that an intelligent creator is possible. This entire universe could be sitting in a petri dish in some lab somewhere growing like a fungus for all we know. We could be little more than a medical experiment, a side-effect of some larger experiment. I would imagine that the creator of the universe would be no more concerned with or aware of the concerns of man than we are concerned with or aware of the microscopic single-celled organisms that live in our eyelashes. I think that the creator would be surprised to discover that we worshiped he/she or it. I think the creator would be surprised that we believed ourselves to hold such a high place of importance in it's creator's life. As surprised as we would be if we found out that the micro-organisms in our eyelashes were building temples in our honor and praying for forgiveness every time they cheated at poker or had impure thoughts. If there is a "Supreme Being" I doubt he would be quite a trifling and petty as man's religions make him out to be. I doubt he would require you to light candles and burn incense and chant spells and prayers. That all just seems sort of silly. I can't imagine a being that dwarfs the universe being as insecure and emotionally unstable as most of the Western master/slave religions make him out to be.

[to be continued]


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Book of a Thousand Sins

written by Wrath James White
published by Two-Backed Books

"The unexamined life is not worth living." Socrates said this more than two thousand years ago. Yet how many of us really examine our lives, our beliefs, values and opinions? How many of us question why we believe what we believe from our morals and ethics to our prejudices and biases to our politics and religion? How many of us just parrot our cultural, familial, or generational party line without truly understanding the reasoning behind these ideologies? How many of us go through life like a leaf in the wind just going with the flow without once questioning why or where it is all leading?

When your average person thinks of (extreme) horror, whether they realize it or not, they are thinking of work similar to the work of Wrath James White. When I say horror, many (of you) are thinking blood and guts and maybe randomly naked people. As a genre, it is dismissed as being too brutal, too sadistic, and too terrifying to have any redeeming value.

“He would free them from the mores, the traditions and the societal, moral, and cultural restraints that have for so long fettered the development of the human spirit.” –“The Book of a Thousand Sins”

I usually don’t read from the extremist/bizarro spectrum of horror, though I am a huge fan of Wrath James White’s blog. I always felt that it typically doesn’t have a moral core since so much of what the extreme side of the genre tries to do is get a response out of the reader, using the tools of the style to provoke arousal, revulsion, or even offense. While I do occasionally read things from the extreme side of things–Clive Barker, John Shirley, Gemma Files–without a doubt, White’s The Book of a Thousand Sins might be the most vile, disturbing, sacrilegious, and brain-scarringly haunting piece of work I’ve read. Almost prompting me to title this piece “Wrath James White: What the hell is wrong with you?” However, these things are also what makes it a notable horror work.

All that being said, why is Wrath James White’s work worth wrestling with?

“After stopping the intrusion of that one false ideology with the simplest of all defenses, a lucid question, I immediately began to wonder how much additional mental refuse I might rid my mind of with the strength of that one question. How many ideas had I accepted simply because so many others had accepted it before me?” –“Awake”

It is no secret that Wrath has some issues with religion. In his 15 short stories, many violent and some sexually explicit, he keeps returning to certain themes. “Awake” explores the power of asking the question “why?” As one man searches for God, and the journey it takes him on, in his story “He Who Increases Knowledge,” we get a glimpse of how he sees religion: as a renunciation of reason and autonomy as people become cattle. A Christian punished for the sin of pride and self-righteousness in “Don’t Scream,” which is a violent meditation on the afterlife. “Couch Potato” is a nihilistic horror show examining what the point of life is. Again, this follows the theme to his work, a search for answers to questions and heaven help us when he doesn’t like what he hears. Interestingly, the answers to the questions that he poses tend to eventuate in the same place: violence, insanity, and death.

“Pain is the nervous system’s primary indicator that we are doing something that might compromise the integrity of our bodies. It presents us from destroying ourselves. To not know pain is to not understand what it takes to survive and succeed.” –“The Sooner They Learn”

It might be unfair to say that his characters are bereft of moral restraints. One thing they have in common is that they constantly question how knowledge is passed down, whether or not people have accepted beliefs simply because tradition passed the ideas down. Their minds unravel once they hold to no beliefs, becoming assured of only one’s self. In other words, they are the product of skepticism unchecked, unable to find a reasonable reason to draw their next breath if everything was random and meaningless. And then finding themselves capable of doing anything.

In “The Sooner They Learn,” White poses that if there were a God, He was afflicted with Munchausen by Proxy. He imagines God as a woman, the ultimate mother, causing suffering in order to have us call out to Him to save us. This is the knowledge that Adam learned in the garden of Eden and such a deity affliction would be one answer to the problem of pain in the world. The book ends with the story “No Questions Unanswered,” which wrestles with the argument of faith vs. facts in the context of what happens to us if God is dead (or killed in this case)?

“You have no idea what death is. Your deluded little fanatic ass believes that there is something waiting for you after all this is over, but there isn’t. Believe me, I know this life is all there is. Religion is one big lie and you’re just another sucker. Perhaps the biggest of all.” –“A dialogue Between a Priest and a Dying Man”

In this revenge fantasy with a terrorist, testing his “faith” both wrestles with the idea of the afterlife as well as echoing the words of Paul (“And if Christ has not been raised, our preaching is useless and so is your faith.” I Corinthians 15:14). That is pretty much the crux of things. The despair and hopelessness, the sense of (tragic) desperation to White’s characters pervade the stories. In Calvinistic terms, White could be speaking to the total depravity of man when left to his own devices. The flip side to this doctrine is that sometimes this comes out as acknowledging that man has a darker nature that he needs to resist, restrain, or “kill.” The conclusion, whether White intends it or not, is that if we have no faith in God, we certainly can’t have faith in man either.

It all comes down to hope. Hope is the anticipation of a good that is not yet here. Sometimes the good is deliverance from an evil (which doesn’t happen very often in any of White’s stories), but it is also related to faith. Faith is confidence grounded in reality, the reality of the invisible; not seen, but nonetheless real. An answer to the bleakness, emptiness we all so often feel. We live in a world of sin, suffering, and evil. Horror stories, like any other kind of story, can be an important vehicle of truth. And I certainly wouldn’t argue about the transformative power of story.

Having built up quite a following in the small press, Wrath James White is poised for mainstream success, waiting for the right vehicle for him to move to the next level. The Book of a Thousand Sins is not without its problems. The stories are inconsistent and a little uneven, with the title story being a little too long (though one got the feeling that White really enjoyed writing that one). Some have some jarring POV switches. Others are afflicted with too much brainy philosophizing getting in the way of the atmosphere of the story. One, “More Maggots,” though delightfully gross prove little more than one note jokes. All of his stories, however, are rife with striking images.

Wrath James White is at his strongest when he meditates on the human condition. He is quick to go to the extreme, painting with those colors when he doesn’t have to. I couldn’t help thinking that his visceral writing style has become a crutch at this point in his career, when often in his tales, the true horror lies beyond the blood and the sex. Which is why part of me felt as if this collection was a bit of a “good-bye and thank you for your support” to his early fans. While ever honing his craft, he demonstrates a creative agility with all things depraved. It’s easy to be nasty. It’s a lot more difficult to bring intelligent themes to the canvas and paint with nastiness as Wrath James White does. He may not be for everyone, but you can tell that he has definitely found his voice.



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Morality Isn’t the Point

MIAMI (Reuters) - Right-wing U.S. radio commentator Rush Limbaugh, a one-time target of a prescription fraud investigation, was detained at a Florida airport when agents found a bottle of Viagra in his luggage that was not prescribed in his name, police said on Tuesday.

The incident marks the latest legal trouble for the controversial and often moralistic radio talk show host, who admitted in October 2003 that he was addicted to painkillers.

Let’s face it, it would be easy to make a bunch of Rush Limbaugh and Viagra jokes: what does he need it for? To get taller? Treat his scoliosis? Could he be a bigger penis? It would be easy to delight in Rush’s fall from grace. Part of it is a function of our culture: we build people up, turning celebrities into icons, only to topple them and dance on their feet of clay. We will especially delight in it if it is a celebrity who has risen to fame moralizing or otherwise telling people how they should live. The Jimmy Swaggarts. The James Bakkers. The Rush Limbaughs. The Dr. Lauras. People who have made a living, and built a following, examining the morality of others and as public figures, fair game for the same sort of public scrutiny of their personal lives.

Defend Rush all you want as a purveyor of entertainment and satire, a harmless teddy bear. The reality is that he speaks for a lot of people. He has transformed the landscape of talk radio for a reason. Now’s probably the time to confess to being a reformed “Ditto-head”. For about five years, I bought into the “pull yourself up by your own bootstraps”, teach a man to fish and he’ll eat for a lifetime, and the free market can solve our ills if we get out of its way mentality. The rhetoric born of the dogmatic rugged individualism that is part of the (cowboy) mythology of America.

Yet I came to a place where it conflicted with what my faith said we are to be about.

Community, helping one another (I hate to break it to you, but some folks don’t even have boots); to share “my fish;” and that the free market has its limits. As does the government. Which means that when all is said and done, we have to get off our collective butts and get involved in people’s lives, build relationships, and help them.

In other words, I became the worst Republican ever.

Frankly, I got tired of the rhetoric of the show, the unassailable “rightness” of it all, the sheer inflexibility of it all. Also, while I actually don’t think he’s racist, I think a lot of racists have learned to cloak their ignorance with his words; and their code words for black people, with the derision inherent in their voices, grated me. Say what you want about my conclusion, but in the end words mean things.

Is this most recent scandal a little unfair for Rush? A little. I understand how someone in his position could do certain things in the name of privacy (and this is only a hop, skip, and a jump from registering in hotels under a phony name ... except that it’s illegal to have prescriptions not in your name). It’s not the use of his domestic, whom I’m sure wasn’t an immigrant taking a job that a red-blooded American could do - like score him drugs. What Rush and the people who defend him forget is that he has been put on a pedestal. He has become a leader and for better or worse, leaders are (and should be) held to higher standards. That’s what he told us during the Clinton years, at least.

It’s not the preaching of moralism that people react to; it’s the self-righteousness, the hypocrisy, and the empty piousness. It’s the sitting on high, in judgment, but removing the plank from his eye before gouging out the specks from ours. A moral legalism that ironically enough, wouldn’t make us all that different than the cultures we feel the need to occupy. It leads to outside obedience and an inner mess. He’s every bit the mess the rest of us are while pretending to not be. And worse, he promised to hold all the right answers to pull us up to his level.

Physician heal thyself. Quit prescribing to yourself.



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Strange Bedfellows Part II: Imperial Christianity

Science and religion are as strange bedfellows as politics and religion. Politics nuzzling up with the Bible has led to a brand of religiosity that can best be described as Imperial Christianity. Where to argue against the morality of the nation is to be guilty of immorality or, dare I say it, liberalism.

My spirituality has been at war with my political life.

I struggle because American Christianity and the Bible appear to be locked in with the conservative elements of the Republican Party. And I’m no longer comfortable with that. First, a confession: I’m a Black Republican. I had a couple reasons for this. I got tired of the Democratic Party taking us for granted, and by the same token (that may prove to be an unfortunate choice of words later), the Republican Party writing off our votes. I’m a conservative person by nature. I love and value tradition. I’m anti-abortion (anti- the mindset of abortion as a valid form of contraception).

That makes me harder to dismiss as a political/theological liberal. Harder, but far from impossible. Especially when “liberal” in many people’s dictionary is defined as “anyone left of them”. I’ve become troubled by the “we’re gonna take this country back for Jay-sus” brand of rhetoric. The church is in danger of becoming a civil religion, one that baptizes the politics of a government.

The Bible is not a political treatise (and I doubt that the people who espouse political views from the Bible would like the kind of politics that the Bible would endorse). The word translated as church, ekklesia, shouldn’t begin looking like a city council. The irony is that the church is quick to jump in bed with politics, to see the will of God borne out through government (because government does so many things well).

Donald Miller (if you haven’t read Blue Like Jazz, you are missing out on a great book) wrote in his book Searching for God Knows What, that this irony isn’t lost on those outside of the church:

“In his book “Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them,” Al Franken included a provocative multi-page comic strip about a man named Supply-Side Jesus. In the strip, Supply-Side Jesus walks through the streets of Jerusalem stating that people should start businesses so they can employ the poor and should purchase exotic and expensive clothes and jewelry so their money will trickle into the economy and, eventfully, bring bread to the mouths of the starving.

In the comic, the disciples come to Supply-Side Jesus and say they want to feed the poor directly, but Supply-Side Jesus says no, that if you give money or food or water directly to the poor, you are only helping them in their laziness and increasing the welfare state. Eventually, Rome catches up with Supply-Side Jesus and, before an angry mob, Pontius Pilate asks the masses which man they want to crucify, Supply-Side Jesus or another man, who, in the comic, stands beside Pilate humbly, a disheveled and shadowy figure. The crowd chants they want to free Supply-Side Jesus because they like his philosophies, and they want to crucify this other man, the shadowy figure standing next to Pilate. Pilate tells the crowd this other man is innocent, that he has done no wrong, but the crowd refuses to listen and instead chants, “Crucify him, crucify him.” Pilate then lets Supply-Side Jesus go free, and orders the innocent man, whose name was Jesus of Nazareth, to be crucified.

I sat there reading the book at Horse Brass Pub in amazement. Here was Al Franken, a known liberal who often lambastes the conservative Christian right but who also, somehow, understands the difference between the Jesus the religious right worships and the Jesus presented in Scripture. One Jesus is understood through conservative economic theory, the other through the Gospels.”

We need to be mindful that religion and politics have two different purposes and goals. Christians need to bear witness to the biblical story within a cultural context. However, we are to do so without being co-opted by the culture. What happens when the thing that we are fighting for turns into the thing that we are fighting against? If the Christian fundamentalists have their way, this country would only end up looking like Iraq, with Jesus instead of Allah. History may very well look back on this era of the American church and wonder how we could hook our wagon to such an agenda.



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Superman Returns

or “The Passion of the Superman”

“They can be a great people, Kal-El–they wish to be. They only lack the light to show the way. For this reason above all, their capacity for good, I have sent them you–my only son.” –Jor-El (Marlon Brando)

It’s a story old as creation itself: the Father sent the Son to be a blessing to the world. To inspire us to join in His mission. To stand for Truth and Justice. The Son, after being about his ministry for a few years, goes away for a time, returning to His home in the heavens, but expects us to carry on and be faithful in his absence.

Which brings us to Superman.

The first Superman movie (1978) made us believe that a man could fly. However, we live in a post-Matrix cinematic world. Brandon Routh’s casting as Superman is more of a compromise between not being able to re-cast a young Christopher Reeve and not wanting to cast Tom Welling from the Smallville series. Superman Returns picks up after a five year absence of our hero, on sabbatical to the remains of his doomed home planet of Krypton to see the graveyard for himself. During this time, many gave up hope of his return. Even Lois Lane (Kate Bosworth) has moved on, engaged to a new man, Richard White (James Marsden, joining his former X-Men director and maybe explaining why his character, Cyclops, was killed off screen during X-Men: Last Stand). She also happens to totes around a five year old son, Jason White (Tristan Lake Leabu, whose performance was disturbingly reminiscent of The Omen’s Damien). As with the Spider-Man movies, we have such a well known hero and cast of characters that casting doesn’t seem to matter as much as long as the players don’t screw things up. What you end up with, however, are people playing cutouts with the movie counting on the sheer power of myth to carry it through. Which it does, this go around.

Superman Returns takes into account the mythology of Smallville as well as the first two (Richard Donner) Superman movies. Though written with a certain amount of messianic expectation, the movie doesn’t skimp on iconic images to build the myth, such as Superman catching the symbol of the Daily Planet, a giant globe, letting us know that he has the whole world in his hands. Superman is a cosmic guardian angel, omnipresent like the Holy Spirit, with shots of him hovering in the heavens, hearing it all, empowered by the sun’s (son’s) light. [And his rescue of the airplane certainly beat Michael Jordan sending a fax to let everyone know “I’m back.”] Though the special effects were spectacular, on more than one occasion Superman appeared to be too digitalized, practically a beatifically filmed action figure.

“Gods are selfish beings who fly around in red tights and don’t share their gifts with mankind.” –Lex Luthor

Lex Luthor sees himself as a modern day Prometheus, stealing the technology of the gods and delivering it to man. For a cut of the profits. He’s not the super genius of the comic books, nor bumbling villainous businessman. His scheme involves using stolen Kryptonian technology to create a new land mass that he will own, no matter that billions would die in the process of him creating it. In other words, he is little more than a grand scheming petty thug. However, Kevin Spacey imbues him with a charm and a gravitas that the script lacks, giving a delightfully sadistic, scenery chewing performance, just this side of Gene Hackman’s classic hamming.

“The world doesn’t need a Savior. And neither do I.” –Lois Lane

Apparently once absent, people do what they do best and try to topple their heroes. They forget about Superman and what he stood for, re-characterize him and de-construct who he was. Lois herself wins a Pulitzer Prize for an editorial entitled “Why the world doesn’t need Superman.” Yet, there is a void that Superman filled, not just for her, but for all who turned to him.

Superman finds himself on a journey, tested more emotionally and spiritually, but eventually physically. A crisis of love as his life becomes a struggle between the alien and the human sides of himself. He tries to balance his calling versus the possibilities of him having a life outside of his mission. The true heart of the movie revolves around this love triangle between Superman/Lois/Richard (a triangle complicated and expanded by both Clark and Jason). For a while we wonder if he was more man than Superman, as he uses his X-ray vision and super hearing to keep tabs on Lois (becoming, in fact, Super-Stalker). For that matter, Clark Kent, the man of Superman, essentially disappears during huge chunks of the movie and no one, certainly no Pulitzer Prize winning journalists, seems to particularly notice.

“There are questions to be asked, here in this fortress of solitude. And we should look for the answers together.” –Jor-El

Superman’s Fortress of Solitude, from where Luthor steals the Kryptonian technology, was a place where Superman could go to express his Garden of Gethsemane moments where he doubts his mission and purpose. A place where he could learning in community by talking to his father when times got dark. Such a time including what could only be described as the passion of Superman.

Beginning with a beating that stopped short of a scourging at the hands of Luthor’s henchmen, it included a (kryptonite) spear to the side. By the time he took care of the Kryptonian island threat, we see Superman’s arms spread out as if on a cross, sacrificing himself for humanity, then laying as if dead for days. Not coincidentally, it was a woman, a nurse, who was the first to notice that he had risen. The movie concludes with Superman a chat with his son (and if we’re not taking the Christ analogy too far by pointing out the The Da Vinci Code-like twist to the story).

Why does the movie dwell so much on the messianic comparisons to Superman? Because, in response to Lois’ comments about not needing a savior, Superman comes back with the response that “everyday I hear people crying out for one.”

“It’s like a seed and all it needs is water.” –Lex Luther

The movie centers around love, faith, and hope - the three fruits of our lives’ work and what we should be about. Lex Luthor wanted to re-create the world through one simple act (Kryptonian crystal) while Christ wanted to do so through one simple teaching (love).

Also on the plus side, Superman Returns is filled with insider geek tidbits. Posing with the car over his head to re-create the cover of Action Comics #1, Superman’s first appearance. The Daily Planet headlines (“Superman is Dead” and “Superman Lives”) book-ending the “Death of Superman” comic book storyline. The movie crams a lot of action into the story, allowing Superman a chance to showcase all of his powers (X-ray vision, speed, strength, flight, cold breath, heat vision, invulnerability, super-hearing ... all without giving him new ones like flying around the planet to turn back time).

Superman Returns basically updates Richard Donner’s movies, being little more than a love letter to them and Christopher Reeves. However, Bryan Singer stages an amazing relaunch of the franchise. We can only hope that with the next go around, he infuses more of a re-imagining into our hero.


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I don’t have time to always check the comments all the places where this rant is posted. If you want to make sure that I see it or just want to stop by and say hi, do so on my message board. I apologize in advance for some of my regulars.