Friday Night Date Place – The Right to be Picky

I’ve mentioned before that I have a lot of female friends. One of the reasons for that is because I have legitimately cultivated friendships with people of the opposite sex. True friendships, not “people I haven’t slept with … yet”. During the course of the friendships, sometimes we may have had to have a variation of the DTR talk. As their friend, I have had one simple “rule”: find a person who will love you as much and treat you as well as I do.

Sure, I get the occasional complaint that I set too high a standard. Actually, that’s a shame, because if a friend loves you and treats you better than your Significant Other, then you really ought to examine what you look for in an S.O. and/or why you settle in your relationships. I shouldn’t have to hear things like “I’m pickier than I have any right to be.” Any right to be? Wrong. You have the right to be picky.

We’ve constructed a false self, where we are defined by what we do, by what we have, and by what people think about us. It’s like we are all trapped by these false ideas of ourselves. These false selves, these false ways that we see ourselves, start developing when we’re young: how our families shape us, how we let our friends define us. We derive our self-worth from what we do; we’re of value because of how we behave or what we have.Too often, we’ve bought into several lies about ourselves. “I’m not pretty enough.” “I’m not smart enough.” “I’m not funny enough.” “I’m not worth loving.”

Truth is, we are eikons of God, created in God’s image, created to relate to God, to relate to others; created with inherent worth and dignity. In other words, you deserve to be loved. You deserve to be respected and esteemed. You deserve to be picky.


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OMG!

We’ve been going through The Lord’s Prayer lately and I got stuck on the first line: “Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name,” (Matthew 6:9). Which means I’ve been thinking a lot about this idea lately and what exactly the idea behind this means.

Alongside the idea of what it means to “fear the Lord” is respecting His name/title. The idea isn’t something brand new to us and how we live. We know there are lines we shouldn’t cross, especially depending on who we’re dealing with and the title/office they may hold. It’s analogous to many of us having employers that we also call friends. We may have a more casual relationship, but there are lines we don’t cross out of respect. For others, it may be similar to relationships with our parents when we get to that friendship point. They still have the authority, title, office of parent that demands honor. For me, I have two close friends who are also my pastors.

"I am who I am . This is what you are to say to the Israelites: 'I AM has sent me to you.' " –Exodus 3:14

The name of the Lord. Yahweh. The “I AM”. He defines His name for us: “Then the LORD came down in the cloud and stood there with him and proclaimed his name, the LORD. And he passed in front of Moses, proclaiming, "The LORD, the LORD, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness, maintaining love to thousands, and forgiving wickedness, rebellion and sin. Yet he does not leave the guilty unpunished; he punishes the children and their children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation."” (Exodus 34:5-7)

"You shall not misuse the name of the LORD your God, for the LORD will not hold anyone guiltless who misuses his name.” –Exodus 20:7

All of the pontificating about cussing (in part one and part two) aside, taking the Lord’s name in vain is an entirely different issue. Names have power. To call someone by name is to assume a more intimate relationship with them (thus part of my issue with kids calling me by my first name). A name can define one’s character and attributes, who He is and what He is like.

The words still ring in my head: “hallowed be your name.” Treat the name as holy, meaning set apart. Honor it, exalt it. Magnify it. Glorify it. To do anything less is to profane it and we profane so easily. To profane is to take that which is high and trample it underfoot. To trivialize it (like when we swear, especially falsely, by his name, Lev 19:12, Matthew 5:33-37).

We like to hide from the exalted, from thinking too highly of things. It’s easier to be petty and trivial. Long gone are the days when His name was considered so sacred that to write it, the instrument used to write it out was destroyed. Boils down to how casual we are with “high things.” We forget that we enter into dangerous territory when dealing with the wholly other and it points to our loss of reverence. At the same time, we have to balance that fear against the reality of the intimate territory, Him personally concerned with me, that a relationship with Him means.

We are careless and casual with our speech, unaware of what we evoke with our words. I keep saying “we”, but this is more a simple reminder to myself.

***ADDENDUM***
I wanted to add this comment I received from my friend, Rob Rolfingsmeyer:

Hallowed be thy name, a Rob perspective:

Remember that the Hebrews in the Older Covenant had a great respect for the Name of G-d. The tetragrammaton was hardly ever used, just in case it was said wrong or said out of place. The equivalant would be to me referring to your wife constantly with the b-word or (God forbid) the c-word. Whereas nowadays, I wouldn't take much offense to my friends calling me a bitch every once in awhile, I definitely would take it to heart and want to whup some ass if someone called my wife that. The name usually denotes the character of the person referred to. And just like w/ Roman names, if someone of a lower class than you called you by your Praenomen, you would take offense because it is not their place to call you such a thing.

Words have power, then as they do now. Names were the greatest sort of power, just think of Jacob asking for the name of the "angel" who wrestled with him. If the angel had given him his name, then Jacob would have been on an equal footing with the angel or worse, would have had "power" over him. These are just some of the reasons why the Hebrews were so uptight about using the Name of God. Heshem was usually good enough. It's like referring to someone as "that dude" or "that guy". You don't want to offend the person you are talking about by f-ing up their name.

When Jesus is saying that God's name is hallowed, he is speaking truth. The very name of God holds power in it, and the thing that should be even more frightening is the fact that God is allowing people to be friends with him by revealing his name. Even saying Heshem is a big step. It's like Abba is a big step. God is your friend and cohort and you can even have his name. But the thing with "hallowed" is that you better not "fraggle" with it. You need to understand that in this relationship there needs to be a healthy respect going on. It is a reminder that he is above everything and before everything and you need to respect that and keep that in the forefront of your brain. Prayer is a conversation so show your respect for who God is to you first and foremost before you move on.


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Interview with Publisher Kim Stewart

Every now and then, I just run across items that intrigue me. The other day I ran across P.O.W.E.R. Magazine. I liked the idea that “God has a destiny in mind for you, and it is bigger than you can ever imagine. Stepping into that destiny begins with Prayer, Obedience, and Worship and letting Him use you for the Edification of His people, bringing about a Rebirth ... thus the International P.O.W.E.R. acronym.” So I thought that I would ask its Publisher, Kim Stewart, a few questions.

Tell me a little bit about P.O.W.E.R. Magazine.

International P.O.W.E.R.'s mission is to "Compel People To Come To Christ", encourage family values and overall personal development. We are not packaged like many traditional Christian magazines because our focus is on the un-churched and the un-saved. We hope to feature cover stories on celebrities like Tony Dungy and Angela Bassett who are not ashamed to tell people about the "Good News About Jesus Christ" In hopes that people, who admire these personalities, will read about how they give the God the Glory and perhaps do a self examination of their walk with the Lord. And at some point say "What must I do to be saved"?

What lead you to start your own magazine?

Once I relocated back to Indianapolis, from Atlanta, I was disturbed to fine that many of my old acquaintances living lives of quiet desperation. Living in the same condition they were in when I left. The communities that I was raised in did not appear to be progressing. However, other communities seemed to be flourishing. So I believed that if their was some form of a magazine could address their needs and show them the steps needed to transform themselves from the inside out, then perhaps a change for the better could take place in their individual lives - leading to a change through out the city, the state, this country and all over the world.

What unique voice do you hope to add to the magazine scene?

Unlike most publishers, I am not in the magazine business as much as I am in the people business. Therefore, I hope to provide a voice for those who don't have a platform to express themselves as well as a large readership that will enable us to move in great numbers towards solving problems that plague all communities. For example, healthcare certainly does not have a color, yet it has a price tag. If we are able to use our database to bring about change for all people then our unique voice will have been heard.

What has your own spiritual journey been like?

We don't have time for that testimony yet, but it is coming soon. I will sum it up however like this. I should have been dead a long time ago. I have done every type of un-Godly thing there is, yet God has continued to have mercy on me and save me from myself. In my case I really don't believe God cares one way or the other if I publish a magazine. I have a testimony and he didn't bring me out of it to not share it with anyone. Truthfully, I believe that he has allowed me to manage P.O.W.E.R. (I say manage because it's his magazine like all things. His money, His house, His car etc., and he is loving us enough to let us manage some of His things), as a way to get me in shape for the real task at hand and that is to do Christian Motivational Speaking.

If you had to leave someone with one message, what would it be?

Christ died on the cross to save us from the penalty of sin. He exchanged His life for our life In His death he also freed us from many of the chains that we are bound to; divorce, drugs, homosexuality, etc. But the scripture that immediately came to my heart II Chronicles 7:14 If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.

[If you are interested in P.O.W.E.R. Magazine, click here.]


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Twenty Years So Soon

The Northwest High School Class of 1987 Reunion.

It’s been twenty years since that four year rite of passage that we call the high school experience and I wasn’t sure how much I wanted to see them. I was the youngest graduate in our class due to me skipping a few grades which only gave me more incentive to keep my head down. So generally, I kept to myself. Sorta.

(L-R: Amy Majeske (Bird), me, Tina Hardymon, Jon Harp*)

I wasn’t the nerd, the jock, the cheerleader, or part of the fringe crowds. I found that if you were your own particular brand of weird and were comfortable with it, folks either left you alone or accepted you. Still, I had a mild curiosity to see what happened to the bullies of the day, the old cliques, the old “we will grow old together/a love like ours will never die” romances (most of whom apparently ended a few weeks after graduation).

Buoyed on waves of nostalgia, I chose to attend the reunion (and convinced my best friend* to go – man was not meant to suffer alone). Here’s what you need to know about our graduating class: we started the year at around 400 students but just under 200 actually made it to May. So it’s no wonder folks want to cheer at graduations. In the time since, far too many have been killed or incarcerated. There’s no point in complaining about how it was organized. I apply the same rule I use when folks come to me complaining about something I’ve put together: what did you do to help out? Since I pretty much sat back and watched it unfold, I’ve got no room to complain.

Though a strange and wondrous time, high school always did have its little quirks. For our first couple years, we were prone to race riots just prior to major breaks. In fact, I was worried that our reunion would break down like our lunchtime cafeteria typically did: split right down the middle along racial lines. Luckily, a lot has changed in twenty years.
(The Reunited Northwest High School Class of 1987)

If nothing else, we’ve managed to undo the unfortunate mistakes of 80s hairstyles, from the Flock of Seagulls look to the mullet/porn mustache combo to Jheri curls. (Luckily, there are no pictures floating around of me where I’d have to live down either a Kid ‘N Play or a DeBarge phase of hair.)

There was no great angst moment. No cathartic epiphany about my place in society or the universe. No mid-life crisis panic attacks. Just me connecting with folks whom I had lost touch with. However, allow me to tell you that there is not enough alcohol to get me on the dance floor 80s tunes. (Though at one point I was left wondering “why is my wife going down the Soul Train line?”).

Yeah, it was a bit of a ghetto reunion (and, yeah, I fixed a to go plate of food), but it was OUR ghetto reunion. In a lot of ways it reflected much of what our class was about: more than a little disorganized, loud, fun, and quick to just solve problems by getting on the dance floor.

Though, all told, I remember why I skipped my prom.


*Dear Jon: if you’re going to blog about your one-time crushes, maybe you ought to check and see if they’re going to your reunion. Cause the Internet is a big place and folks love to Google themselves.


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Story, Memory, and Reconciliation

INDIANAPOLIS, Ind., USA -- Maurice Broaddus, father of two biracial
children, reflects on the stories that comprise his children's mixed
heritage and how such stories could lead toward reconciliation
between the races, in today's issue of The Storyteller and the
Listener Online.

You can read the full graphics version of the essay here.

(A text-only version is available here.)


While I’m plugging things, J.C. Hay has a story, Brothers, up on Pseudopod. By a convergence of coincidence, it is read by another friend of ours, Richard Dansky. Go listen to a great story read greatly.


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Gen Con 2007 Report

It’s that time of year when hordes of the devoted make their annual pilgrimage to nerd Mecca, that is, my very own Indianapolis and Gen Con. Now, before you’re too quick to make fun, during this madness we call preseason football, it’s ironic how Colts fans painted in blue can look at fantasy fans dressed as elves and think “some folks just take things too far.” Though there may be a hierarchy of nerds, fan devotion shows that they have a passion for something, though admittedly, some DO take things too far (thus why fans sometimes scare me).

This was my first Gen Con. Considering how many conventions I go to in a year, you’d think I’d actually attend the huge one in my own back yard. Already, Gen Con is Indianapolis' third-largest convention, bringing nearly 27,000 people and $25.3 million to Downtown hotels, restaurants and shops. Gen Con stepped up to the challenge of replacing the E3 convention and is becoming a key stop in the multi-billion dollar videogame industry. Part trade show, part fan con, it has a strong writer’s track (after all, someone has to write the games and tie-ins. Plus, it’s always good to learn the politics in the writing game, the secret ins and outs of various companies).

(These pics courtesy of J.C. Hay)










[Mee aaand Mister, Mister (William) Jones] [J.C. Hay and William Horton]

That’s the business part of the con and I got a ton of it done. Special shout outs to my friends I don’t get to see nearly often enough: Lucien Soulban, J.C. Hay, Jesse Scoble, Tim Waggoner and Matt Forbeck. (The rest of the pics courtesty of Sheryl Hugill)
As for fans, yes, for some folks these kinds of cons are a way of life. It’s the rare place where a Star Wars ring tone goes off and a dozen folks check their phone. It’s where people can get together and filk in peace. Where else can you overhear conversations about orcs and werewolves? It’s for people who use web cams and Skype to run Hollow Earth Expedition – you know, exactly what Al Gore had in mind when he invented the Internet.

Gen Con is for game enthusiasts of all stripes: video, board, role-playing (including the live action (LARP) variety), and cards. And the multitude of folks in costumes: from Storm Troopers to Ghostbusters to Silent Bob to Jack Sparrow.
However, I don’t care how stylish you are dressed, you ain’t pimpin’ in elf ears.


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Membership has its privileges

You ever walk into the middle of a conversation that you can tell has been had often before? This is going to be one of those conversations and rather than re-hash old territory, let’s start fresh. There are some words, phrases, disparaging remarks that are off limits. Let’s be grown-ups: of course there are words one group can use that another/an outside group can’t. Don’t start crying “how come they get to?” to me. Seriously, the “he did it first” mess doesn’t fly with me when it comes from my five year old.

(Continued on Intake in "Membership has its priveleges")

Should some folks not use some words then for the sake of consistency and modeling? Maybe.
There are certainly some words I’d prefer we’d simply get rid of, however, until then

(And allow me to reiterate: membership also has its costs. Funny how folks want the “privileges” without having to pay the price of admission).


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Friday Night Date Place - Dating Divorcees

“Is it okay to date someone who has been divorced?” You'd be stunned how often I get this question. Or, maybe you wouldn't be. We live in an age of divorce, where one out of two marriages end in divorce, Christian and non-Christian alike. So many folks find themselves single again or dating prospects who have been divorced.

I’m not going to hash out a theology on divorce – why re-invent the wheel? Here are a few articles that I found helpful:

-The Importance of a Clearly Defined Position

-Four Evangelical Views on Divorce and Remarriage

-A Brief Development of the Reformed Perspective

-Pastoral Applications of the Reformed Position

Dating divorcees I basically just wanted to know the answer to a couple of questions:

1. What were the circumstances of the divorce? Adultery, abuse, abandonment – it’s hard to hold someone into account for the actions of another, don’t you think? Now, if I hear things like “my spouse no longer fulfilled my needs” or “we fell out of love;” well that’s going to make me more cautious.

2. How do they feel about the divorce? Did they fight to stay married? Were they repentant (if circumstances dictate/warrant it)? Basically, I want to know if they take marriage seriously. However, I understand circumstances beyond our control.

3. What sort of baggage is there? Hmm, perhaps there’s a better way to phrase this, but it doesn’t matter since only the first two questions are “make or break” sort of questions (and most folks carry baggage into a relationship). I’m just getting at what are the other relationships I’d be getting into (the ex still around, children, etc.).

“Is it okay?” I guess that’s up to you and what you have on your list. I know some hard core folks with a “no divorced people” dating policy. There’s something about that stance that smacks of judgment and an unforgiving spirit – but maybe it’s just me. I do know that marriage is hard and has many pitfalls. It strikes me as unloving to see someone who has been bruised by life, point to their bruises, and go “you’re automatically defective. Next please.” Maybe they should be asking if it’s okay to date you?


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Like I really Care What People Think

Okay, I was talked into doing this. Think of it as a game to see how well you (think you) know me.

The Johari Window was invented by Joseph Luft and Harrington Ingham in the 1950s as a model for mapping personality awareness. By describing yourself from a fixed list of adjectives, then asking your friends and colleagues to describe you from the same list, a grid of overlap and difference can be built up.

Here’s my Johari Window.

The Nohari Window is a challenging inversion of the Johari Window, using antonyms of the original words. By describing your failings from a fixed list of adjectives, then asking your friends and colleagues to describe you from the same list, a grid of perceived and unrecognized weaknesses can be explored.

Here’s my Nohari Window.

This will be interesting (read: an exercise in self-absorption).


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The Thrill is Gone

Everyone is scared of something.

So, after my family’s most recent excursion to Holiday World, I see no reason why I should have to endure the taunts of my so-called friends and family. Three things you all need to understand:

(Continued on Intake in "The Thrill is Gone)


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Playing With My Boys

One day he won’t let me hold his hand in public, he won’t let me stroke his hair when he’s resting, he won’t let me be seen with him in public because I’ll be embarrassing.

Today’s the first day of school. Officially, both boys will be joining our public education system and I how have regained my days to pursue more of my fiction writing. Some of you may be wondering what I do during a typical day in the life of a productive writer. You know, what exactly does this stay at home dad do during the day while his wife is at work. You know, what do I do between blogging and Law & Order re-runs.

I play. To put as positive a spin on this as possible, allow me to quote from one of the Dwelling Place values:

“I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.” (Jesus - Matthew 18:3)

Wonder. Curiosity. Abandon. Playfulness. Listening. Passion. Celebration. Imagination. Spontaneity. Openness. Creativity. Children hold so little regard for status, title, or position and have so little of the things that consume the lives of adults, and yet they are filled with such joy. They are fully alive, and every waking moment is a chance to explore life.

After a game of “Evil King” (long story: let’s just say that we have some of the Burger King crowns around the house and we’re all convinced the creepy mascot is evil. I’ve long forgiven them for their previous blunder), I play super-hero fights with Reese. This may come as a shock to many of you, but we have a lot of action figures around the house and Reese is Superman while I’m Batman. Reese always wins because Superman always beats Batman. That’s the rule of the game (Reese also cheats: every time Batman manages to find Kryptonite—I don’t know where Reese gets the cheating thing from—Superman always has a henchman, a Rescue Ranger, help out).

I color with Malcolm, which usually evolves into coloring for Malcolm, as it’s his version of a distraction he as he sneaks in a re-run of Curious George. You’d think I’d catch on to their distraction schemes. Also, we’ve been experimenting with freezing stuff. Last week, we froze socks and underwear (which, for the record, means that we can use them as knives and shields during games of Evil King).

We round out the day by playing Jame Bond 007 on PlayStation since all three of us can play that one. I usually win two out of three games. I never “let” them win, they have to earn kicking my butt. Unfortunately, I have also inadvertently taught them the art of trash-talking.

Sure, my Get Out Clock still marches on. Yet I find myself distracted from my current short story because I keep watching for 3 o’clock and a re-match.


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Angels of Mercy

There are everyday heroes in this world. They’re called nurses. Mind you, I’m a little biased: my mother, one of my best friends, and one of my spiritual mentors are all nurses. I was reminded of how much they get taken for granted or at least not given their due nearly enough after spending some time with the NICU nurses over at St. Methodists hospital.

They are caretakers who get attached to the lives of their patients; people who walk alongside the pain of others often during the worst times of their lives. Too often they are unappreciated, understandably so as folks can get so wrapped up in their own pain that they don’t think of those who were there to try and make things better. People don’t think, in the midst of their trials, to look them in the eye and say “thank you”. They don’t work for hospitals or doctors; they work for you, their charges.

Our gratitude should come from knowing that they are frontline soldiers in a war of pain and suffering. The world we live in is a broken one full of the kind of tragedies that we don’t have explanations for. We may ask the “why?”s when it comes to such things, but the answer more times than not comes in the form of people being God’s hands of comfort. Theirs is more than a job; it’s a calling (much like teachers).

They do it because invest themselves sacrificially in the lives of others. They do it, without thanks, because they are crusaders in their own way, using medicine as their sword, work in the trenches of man’s inhumanity to man, day after day, without any rounds of applause. They join in God's mission to be a blessing to the world. That is what redemption is all about. Bring reconciliation and healing to this world.

So this is dedicated to those women and men of St. Methodists. We salute you, thank you, and continue to ask God’s blessing for you all.


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Robin Hood – A Review

“Christ with a Bow” (aka “Jesus and his Merry Men”)

BBC has taken the legend of Robin Hood and updated it for a new generation. Now a tale that truly resonates with our times, Robin of Locksley, Earl of Huntington (Jonas Armstrong), every bit the loveable rogue, along with his his bard/manservant, Much (Sam Troughton, whose grandfather, Patrick Troughton (Doctor Who), played Robin in the BBC’s ‘50s Robin Hood television show) return to their beloved England, haunted by memories of war as they return from the Crusades.

“The law is under threat and must be severe if it is to be respected.” –an errant knight

The pair come to find their people under the yoke of tyrannical rule by the new Sheriff of Nottingham (played with impish glee by Keith Allen). The people are taxed to fund the king’s wars, as the king needs to fund his holy war, fought in the name of God and King. In fact, outlaws declared enemies of the State, not subject to the same laws.

The Sheriff is the face of the Empire, the State, the system itself: the “empire,” with its values and its control and order, is seen as social and governmental impotence. Robin, on the other hand, makes for an interesting comparison to Christ. Let’s see how they stack up.

“Principle is making a difference.” –Marian (Lucy Griffiths)

Robin gave up his kingdom to be a servant to the poor, thus becoming a threat to the Empire. This is reminiscent of what is called Jesus Christ’s condescension in Philippians 2:5-11, the idea that God would take His essence, wrap Himself in human likeness, and humble Himself by coming from heaven to be like one of us on earth. Also like Christ, Robin focuses on one fundamental lesson: how we need to take care of your neighbor, instead of treating them worse than animals, until the return of the true King.

In light of where he finds himself, Robin slowly recruits a band of Merry Men which includes Little John (Gordon Kennedy), Allan A Dale (Joe Armstrong), and Will Scarlett (Harry Lloyd). His ally in Nottingham is Marian, the tough-talking Mary Magdalene of his life. They are Robin’s disciples just as he is their Master-Teacher.

While we are here, we need to be about the poor, the widows and orphans. Those without wealth don’t hear the same message as those in poverty. Too often our gospel has the luxury of interpreting poor as a spiritual condition, as opposed to those who were really hungry, really persecuted, really afflicted, really without clothes, without shelter, without hope. When you are poor and a teacher talks about being thirsty and hungry, it takes on a more immediate dimension.

“Everything’s a choice. Everything we do.” –Marian

By speaking out, by speaking the truth, Robin condemns himself. The idea of Robin Hood becomes too big, too much of a threat to the powers that be. He challenges them and defeats them with unexpected methods and is thus labeled a threat to the empire and has to be dealt with. Still, he is willing to give himself up in order to save others. Certainly there were times when he could’ve killed the Sheriff, but that is not his way.

Jonas is no Errol Flynn (sadly, too many folks reading this are going to ask “Errol who?”), but there is just enough swashbuckling joy to buoy the show (but I’m a sucker for good sword fights and arrows, so I’m easy). There is also a strong undercurrent of humor, much of it provided by the Sheriff’s evil sarcasm and Much’s antics ( I can’t hear the phrase “brave sir Robin” without thinking of Monty Python and the Holy Grail). Full of modern flourishes to the dialogue, BBC’s Robin Hood is a raucous, fun romp.


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I’m The Originator - Meme Day

ENTP - The "Originator"
Temperament: NT (Intellectual)
Primary Function: Extraverted Intuition
Population: 3% (4.5% male, 1.5% female)




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Friday Night Date Place – Self-Destructive Ain’t Cute

I hate getting caught up in other people’s drama. Be it messy previous relationships or the consequences of their own bad decision making, some folks have self-destructive tendencies and the drama rarely seems to end with them. I suspect that they thrive on it half the time. Whether through their own insecurity or selfish behavior, most of the time these are dilemmas of their own making. Life becomes about meeting their own needs. Granted there is a perverse entertainment value in watching a plane crash; people can’t stop staring at wrecks. I don’t want to be collateral damage

Part of this is a spiral of self-hate. They have such a self-loathing, believing that things aren’t supposed to work out from them, that they don’t trust good things coming into their lives. So that even when things are going well, they have to do something, revert to some previous poor behavior, in order to sabotage things. In the process, they inflict damage on their partner as well as the other relationships in their lives. Friendships. Kids. Family.

Just like with mourning times after a break up, sometimes it is better to be alone for a while; a time for reflection and self-evaluation as you get your act together. This time of contemplation would be a good time to quit blaming others (an end of self moment) and look inward. Examine the mess and clean it up. Own who you are, own your own mistakes, and chart a course of the muck and mire of your present situation – fix yourself, find your path, not to be perfect, but to take account of your personal and moral failings. A part of owning your mistakes means confessing them, and seeking to become whole. On one hand, no one expects you to be perfect before you can date. On the other hand, you shouldn’t be looking for a relationship to cure you of being who you are. What we should be expecting is being on a journey to become whole.

Wholeness is attainable, and a journey of growth is what we should all be on.

Self-destructive isn’t cute, nor is it attractive, though I’m sure it appeals to those folks who are compelled to rescue the people they date. While we want to accept people where/as they are (in order to get away from our need to fix people or re-shape them into an image we want), this needs to be balanced by the fact that some people aren’t in a place where they are ready to be in a relationship. Those folks need to learn to look past themselves and their own needs. Relationship about the other person. Finding your needs met in being a blessing to another, not tearing them down or apart in the wake of your self-hate spiral.

I can love you wherever you are, but there are times when I will love you from “over there,” because some relationships will only be toxic.


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No Asterisks for Me

On August 7th, 2007, at 8:51 p.m. (Pacific Time), during his third at bat, on a 3 and 2 count, Barry Bonds hit his 756th home run, passing the all-time great, Hank Aaron. As I watched the moment (about ten minutes worth of the repeated swing, trot around the bases, and rejoicing), I was struck by two images: one, the shot of Barry sticking his arms in the air as soon as he hit the ball (against a back drop of fans who simultaneously stuck their arms in the air); and the shot of fans who placed asterisks above their heads.

Give me a break, baseball purists: there’s no need for asterisks. No sport has prided itself more on cheating than baseball: from spit balls to corked bats to gambling scandals (from Shoeless Joe to Pete Rose) to, I don’t know, not letting black people in the game. It has more than its share of “unwritten rules” that amount to vigilante justice (see Roger Clemons putting one right between the jersey numbers of Alex Rios because Josh Towers tuned up Alex Rodriguez for his antics many games ago). Players have repeated the mantra that “if you’re not cheating, you’re not trying” and “it’s only cheating if you get caught.” So don’t talk to me about the integrity of the game and the sacrosanct nature of your numbers.

Barry Bonds has become the poster boy of the “steroid era” (by the way, I don’t think race plays a factor in why Barry Bonds has taken so much flak, unless a-hole has become a race). Did Barry Bonds take steroids? To quote Roger Lodge “You might as well ask me if O.J. did it,” because the circumstantial case is fairly conclusive.

Athletes are constantly looking for an edge. Steroids turns average players into pretty good players, pretty good players into all stars, and all stars into hall of famers. We have ‘roided up hitters playing against ‘roided up pitchers. Barry Bonds was a hall of fame bound player still looking for an edge.

For many, the record is tainted. Commissioner Bud Selig has ducked out from the Bonds homerun watch as much as possible pretending that his hands are clean. We want to believe all these athletes perform clean. When we thing about the Hank Aarons and Jackie Robinsons of the game and what all they went through, we feel that Bonds doesn’t deserve it (and certainly doesn’t live up to their legacy).

However, even as a non-baseball fan, I recognize that this is still an important moment with a shadow about it. I applaud the moment if not the person. Spare me any talk about your “hallowed numbers” because if nothing else, your complaints will only last until Alex Rodriguez takes the record from Bonds in the next decade.


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Accidents Waiting to Happen – An Interview with Simon Wood Part II

(Click here for part I)

Tell me a bit about the journey of your writing career. You started off and have published hundreds of short stories, right?

I blame my writing career in the Immigration and Naturalization Service. I’d come to the US in ’98 and I had to wait for my work visa to be processed. Before I left England, I’d been toying with the idea of writing. With nothing to do in the states, I followed up on the idea. I’d never taken any writing classes and I was a little embarrassed to do so because I’m dyslexic and I didn’t need the additional stress. I wrote three short stories in a week, then spent the next three months rewriting them until they were presentable. After that, I began my first novel. I worked fifteen months straight writing short stories and novels every day without making a sale. I finally sold my first short story and that seemed to be my break. After that, I sold stories one after another, but it wasn’t until 2002 until my first novel was published. One thing I didn’t do was pin my hopes to one piece of work. I wrote and wrote and submitted and submitted. It’s the reason I’ve generated so many sales. I’m tenacious when it comes to my work. I can’t sell it if I don’t submit it.

How did you transition from small press publishing to a mainstream publisher?

Really, I made the break into mainstream publishing through not giving up and good luck. I’ve just been diligent, biding my time and when opportunities come my way, I’ve pounced on them. Dorchester is my current publisher for my novels. I took my chances with Dorchester to get a face to face with the editor, because I knew he’d like my novel if he saw it—I just didn’t know how much. Recently, I’ve landed a non-fiction book deal. That remains the easiest book deal I ever got. A writing friend showed some of my essays to a publisher and told them they should consider me for a future project. They contacted me and the next thing I knew we were talking about a book. I think it’s a good example of being good to people and they’ll be good to you. J

Was it difficult getting your first novel republished?

Oddly, it wasn’t a difficult one. The biggest stumbling block was me. It never occurred to me for the longest time that I could get it republished. The rights had reverted back to me a least a year before I decided I wanted to give the book a second chance. But before I sent it out, I gave the manuscript a complete makeover. I cut the clichés and stereotypes, sharpened the prose and made the book a much tighter piece of work.

Finding my publisher was pretty simple all things considered. Trying to resell a book is tough, but I knew Dorchester was open to reprints. The editor for Dorchester was attending a convention in San Francisco and I put my name on a list to pitch the book to him. I pitched the book and he liked it and the rest is history. I’m now working on my third book with Dorchester.

What's a typical writing day like? How do you juggle work, family, and writing?

I currently work part time—Monday through Wednesday. On those days, I write short stories and articles in my lunch hour and I work on my novels between 8pm and 10pm. Thursday and Fridays, I hit the keyboard from 9am and work through to about 4pm. I may work on something in the evening, but I try to spend that time with my wife. Saturday and Sundays are a bit more fluid. I will work on my books, but I tend to work around whatever I have planned with my wife and friends. I used to be very focused and selfish, but it wasn’t until my dog brought me one of his toys and put it in my hand that I realized that I was neglecting everyone. So I’ve become very disciplined. I made agreements with my wife that I would work between certain hours and use typical down time, like lunch hours, to work on writing. I’d like to get it to the point where I can get all my writing work done between Monday and Friday so that I can have my weekends for my family and friends. I have a tendency to be dedicated which can hurt the people around me.

What path would you like for your career to take from here? Do you see yourself writing full-time?

I would like to cement myself as a popular fiction writer with books and stories coming out regularly. I couldn’t ask for more. Actually, I’m planning to go full time as a writer in the next couple of weeks. Hopefully my faith will be rewarded.

Do you have any upcoming projects on the horizon that we should be on the lookout for?

My next thriller, Paying the Piper, comes out in November. Again it deals with the protagonist’s downfall and their redemption. It’s the story of Scott Fleetwood. He’s a news reporter who interfered with a kidnapping case that leads to the death of a kidnapped child. Eight years later the kidnapper comes out of retirement to kidnap Scott’s children. He can get them back if he’s willing to do some ‘jobs’ for the kidnapper.


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Accidents Waiting to Happen – An Interview with Simon Wood Part I

For matters of complete disclosure, it should be pointed out that Simon Wood and I are friends. Reviewing friends presents a tricky quandary because you have to be honest in your reviews but you don’t want to damage the friendship (sadly, I’ve seen poor reviews ruin relationships). I tend to solve that dilemma by begging my friends not to send me anything that sucks. Luckily, they tend to listen and Simon is no exception.

Tell me a little bit about what you write. Do you see yourself as a thriller writer a horror writer or what?

I write what I love. Above all other things, I’m a fan. To be a good writer, you have to be. I’ve grown up loving stories, so now I want to tell them. That means I flit between horror and crime, comedy and sci-fi. I’m a little bit of a chameleon which I know bugs the hell out of people at times, but I like telling stories. Sometimes I want to scare people, astound people and make them laugh from time to time. If I see myself as anything it would be a storyteller.

How would you describe your spiritual journey? Would you describe yourself as a religious/spiritual guy?

I don’t consider myself a religious person. I don’t seek guidance from a higher being or seek support from a faith. I guess that makes me sound directionless and I suppose I am in a lot of ways. I’m still trying to find my place in the world. Still discovering. I’m weird like that. -J-

While I don’t seek guidance from others, I always make myself available to others. If people seek help, I’m here. I’m never one to turn my back or to end a friendship.

What role does faith play in your life?

That’s a difficult question to answer. I don’t think faith plays a part in my life. I’m always the first to doubt. Will this happen? Will that work out? I always err on the negative. I think it’s a self defense mechanism—expect the worst and prepare for it.

There seems to be this thread of "sin" throughout your story. This idea that buried sins can come back to get you. Am I reading too much into things?

When I look through my books and stories, sin does present itself as a consistent theme. I wouldn’t say it’s a subject I champion on purpose. I didn’t even notice the theme for several years of my writing. It’s just something I believe in—sin will be your undoing. You don’t have to be particularly religious to see or understand that. Everyone makes mistakes, but if you take measures to cover them up, they will come out and it will hurt.

I suppose the other predominant theme is temptation. In life, every one of us walks a fine line. The moment we let our temptations get the better of us, we lose our way. Several of the kids I grew up with became killers or were killed. I found it hard to deal with the fact that someone I played soccer with could take a life, but they were a product of their decisions. You could see the downward spiral and if it weren’t for a handful of choices they would have never ended up where they ended up.

What would be the one thing you would want readers of Accidents Waiting to Happen to come away with?

Indiscretions (or mistakes), no matter how deep you bury them, will come back to bite you. There are always options. When I pick my novels and stories apart, all of them could have ended on page one if the protagonist had done the right thing.

(to be continued ...)


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Accidents Waiting to Happen – A Review

“Josh Michaels is worth more dead than alive. He just doesn’t know it yet. He has no idea why someone would try to kill him, clearly that’s exactly what happened. When an SUV forced Josh’s car off the road and into a river, it might have been an accident. But when Josh looked up at the road, expecting to see the SUV’s driver rushing to help him, all he saw was the driver watching him calmly…then giving him a “thumbs down” sign. That was merely the first attempt on Josh’s life, all of them designed to look like accidents, and all of them very nearly fatal. With his time—and maybe his luck—running out and no one willing to believe him, Josh had better figure out who wants him dead and why…before it’s too late.”


I love a good thriller. Thrillers, to me, are like perfect popcorn movies: you curl up with them and let them take you on a ride for a few hours. You may not remember the details of the story the next day, but you remember the experience. That's part of the rush of Accidents Waiting to Happen. Josh Michaels was living the American Dream. Beautiful wife, wonderful kid, a great best friend, a job he excelled at, and a home to call his own. Then it all starts to slowly unravel the night of a mysterious accident.

The characters for the most part are little more than sketches, however, the two stand outs are, well, a couple of the villains: Bell, Josh’s scorned ex-lover who bursts back into his life to wreak all manner of havoc; and “the professional,” the man hired to kill him. Bell is every psycho ex-girlfriend rolled into one, beautiful, engaging, and crazy (you know what I mean, the kind that all but walk around with a sign saying “Do Not Feed the Crazy” that men inevitably are drawn to). What I enjoyed so much about “the professional” who is out to get poor Josh is how he goes about killing his victims. It is like he embodies the spirit of the Final Destination movie franchise with his carefully crafted machinations that make his killings look like accidents.

“What a sad and pointless life she led. Life to her was a malignant disease prolonging her suffering.” (page 148)

Accidents Waiting to Happen plunges us right into the mess of people’s lives. One of the ideas woven throughout the story is the idea that things (accidents) aren’t as random as we may often believe. That people are connected in ways we don’t think about or realize (if only names on a list). This points to the realization that people are relational beings. We are hard-wired for intimacy. Augustine spoke of a God-sized hole within each of us - essentially a built in need for intimacy. The pursuit of intimacy is similar to our pursuit of God. We seek that communion, that connection with Him as well as with others.

The ache of frustrated relations is what we experience as loneliness. Loneliness is that emotional pain we experience when we are not connecting to others in the way we want to be. Loneliness is painful because intimacy is a need and with a lack of intimacy, we are left with feelings of disconnectedness, being left out, and alienated. Loneliness, that inability to be connected in a way that satisfies is what drives Bell, Josh’s ex-mistress.

“But people are very keen to tell you the worst they have done, because in some twisted way we’re all turned on by the evil that men or women do.” (page 133)

At its core, Accidents Waiting to Happen is about past sins catching up to us, with unexpected consequences. Unconfessed sin has a way of rotting us from the inside, keeping us from being as we should and trapping us in a spiral of guilt and shame. We spend our time denying our guilt, running from it, or expending our energy covering it up rather than living as we should. A spirit of confession, as Josh has to learn, frees us. Owning your sins, offering them up, in a spirit of contriteness, humility, and brokenness, and the act can even become worship (Psalm 51:17)

Only then can we then go on with our lives as we should. We’re more than just sinners, but that doesn’t negate the fact that there are consequences to our sins; consequences that need to be resolved (hopefully in less thrilling fashion). We may still make mistakes, but we can recognize our moral failings and do something about them.

Accidents Waiting to Happen is a breezy page-turner. Seriously. I was done with the book in a few short hours wondering how I got so caught up in the story that I missed dinner (which truly sucks for everyone else at our house since I do the cooking). Full of twists and turns, the book manages to sustain a taut balance between tension and dark humor. Fast-paced almost to a fault, Wood demonstrates the kind of crisp prose that makes for a great thrill ride. What the book becomes is a screenplay waiting to happen.


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Participatory Community

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: people like the idea of community, but people don’t want community. People like thinking of church as a family reunion, then they remember how much their family sometimes annoys them. People like the idea of eating a meal together, but are too busy to sit down with folks. We like the idea of community, we hate the effort it takes to build and maintain it (I want community but I don’t want to have to get out of my comfort zone).

Creating a sense of community is a tough lesson to get across. I tend to like the military model: provide their identity (this is who you are), provide the mission (this is what we do), provide training (this is how we do it), and then send them out to live their mission (now go do it). Think about how boot camp can bring together people from all walks of life and no matter their station in life, create one body from them. (Granted, it’s not the perfect model, though there are plenty of days when I’d love to be able to yell at folks “did you love your neighbor as yourself? Drop and give me 20!”)

[If I fail to make a point with the rest of this blog, it’s because I’m now giggling myself stupid with a lot of other “drill instructor pastor” scenarios]

In church settings, I think part of the reason we aren’t living out community is because there is still this hesitation for folks as they wait for the professionals, to do stuff. They wait for “the leadership” to create scenarios to foster community (be it small groups, or book studies, or whatever dream scenario they think will cause them to jump into instant community).

On the part of leadership, we see things that need to be done and we jump in and do them (and by leadership, I’m not just talking about “the elders” or whoever the “up front” folks are. I’m talking about the 20% of the folks who do 80% of the work).

Someone suggested that if you want the church to learn what it means to be a community, you have to give them opportunities to participate. Let the trash stack up. Let the building get dirty. Quit buying food when the meal contribution falls short. Quit worrying so much about “the building” and it being perfect, especially since “outside” the church, we say that “it ain’t a party til something gets broke” anyway. Let them participate even if all they say “look, I ain’t cutting grass. Here’s $50 to make it happen.”

When community becomes about your needs being met, you’ve missed the point of community. We like the idea of building relationships but we don’t want to have to talk to people. Better still, we always want people to bend over backwards and reach out to us. That’s a wonderful ideal, but that’s rarely going to happen. Community takes work. You have to participate in it for it to actually come about. You have to get out of your comfort zones and our of the Pharasitical seats of criticizing how everyone keeps getting it wrong.

And for the folks who get hung up about whether or not they are getting enough “head knowledge” on a Sunday morning, they forget that sometimes doing is the lesson. And we’re far from getting that lesson down. So I guess I’m wondering, how can we best learn or teach community?


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Tales from the Sick Bed

So for the last week I’ve been suffering from what I’ve called post-Mo*Con SARS, some upper respiratory thing that has my breathing down to 50% and has my doctor and wife on my case about bed rest (or rather my not knowing the definition of such). I keep trying to explain to them that, as a writer, I lead what many could describe as a sedentary lifestyle, low on exertion.

Today, the literary diva herself, Chesya Burke, breaks me off a phone call and we have the following conversation:

Chesya: Are you breathing any better?
Me: Aw, was that a note of concern in your voice?
Chesya: No. I don’t have anything to gain from your death. You’re worth more to me alive than dead right now. I can’t say the same for Sally.

It … it just brings a tear to your eye, doesn’t it?

I’m no fan of going to the doctor (not the least of which is due to things like “the catheter incident”), but I have another round of pulmonary tests this week. With any luck, I may have a story less traumatic than the mammogram one to tell.


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The Ultimate Gift – An Interview with Director Michael Sajbel

How did you get started in movies?

I started making movies in junior high and high school and then I was fortunate enough to go to UCLA film school. When I graduated, I started working for an independent producer/director as a screenwriter. I think I was 22 years old when my first screenplay was made into a movie.

How do you go about choosing your projects?

Well, they kind of choose me. In other words, of all the projects in the world, only a certain number get filtered through to me. I don’t know how you would characterize that, but if a project gets to me, I usually take a look at it. If it has an offer to direct, it goes to the top of the stack. If it’s financed already, it goes to the very top of the stack. I look at it and see if it’s something that I’m the right person for. Just a few months ago there was a film that came to me with an offer to direct that I just didn’t feel was right for me, so I turned it down.

I always look at the story and if the story has got all of the elements that I respond to, usually redemption, somebody seeking redemption, something that is authentically written, then I really respond to it.

Can you tell me a bit about your own spiritual journey?

There was a great awakening in America during the early 70s called the Jesus movement. Jesus Freaks were running around converting everyone. I was in high school and had a girlfriend who I knew really well. She went off to Colorado to go skiing and when she got back, she was a completely different person. I saw when she was walking in the door without even saying a word that she was a completely changed person. It was amazing. I had never seen that before. She told me what had happened to her and I fought it for a while (maybe a week) on my own, just between me and God. Finally, God convinced me that this was the way, the truth, and the life. So I surrendered my life.

There’s been a lot of talk about “The Passion Effect” as Hollywood tries to go after the “Christian audience.” Do you see yourself mostly making films targeting the Christian market?

That’s almost a two part question. The Passion Effect … I look at it as one man who had a vision and a passion, Mel Gibson, and he made a film exactly the way he wanted to make it. He was criticized heavily before that film opened about how it was going to be everything from too violent to anti-Semitic, you name it. And he stuck to his guns and the public responded. I think what they saw was a movie made by a person, not by a committee. The effect is that a lot of studios recognize that there is an untapped audience out there.

The Ultimate Gift is not Christian per se, but enjoys a Christian worldview. It is just great entertainment. It’s about character and what does and does not really matters in life. Whether you call that a Christian film or not is up to you.

One of the experiences we had was that we were released by Fox Faith as opposed to 20th Century Fox or another studio. Which labeled the movie as a Christian movie and critics really went after it as a Christian film. At the same time, we are marketing to the Christian community because they have been clamoring for entertainment that is inspiring, non-offensive, or is sympathetic with a Christian worldview. The Ultimate Gift has all of that. In the music business it’s what you would call a crossover picture. It can please any of a number of audiences.

What’s the one thing you’d like people to take away from this movie?

The ultimate gift isn’t any specific type of dogma or religious thought. The ultimate gift is the passing on of one’s values to the next generation. The ultimate gift is what those who are wiser than we are can share with us. And it’s not about a lot of the things that today’s society would hold in high regard. Like money, fame, and all of the accompanying signs of success. It’s about what really counts.

Do you think you’re passing along the gift of story?

I like to think of myself as a director who happens to be a Christian. What appeals to me about any project that comes across my desk is that I see if it’s a story that I would want to tell. Every now and then, a story comes past me that I HAVE to tell. And that’s the difference: what can I take that I really like and am inspired by and what do I get really passionate about. Certainly The Ultimate Gift and before that, One Night with a King, all the work that I’ve done in my career so far has been stuff that I’ve felt that I was ideally suited to do.

What are you up to now?

I was in the running for a project called Joshua, sort of a “what if Jesus was to come back now” sort of story. I didn’t get that project, but then I came across a book that really nailed it for me. Eli by Bill Myers. A radical take on the synoptic gospels, kind of like Matthew, Mark, Luke, and Eli. Most sermons explain things like “a drachma was”, taking us back into the culture of the time. Eli does none of that but is about Jesus in our culture and our time. The premise is that Jesus never came back two thousand years ago, but came now for the first time.

I bought the rights to the book Eli, I talked with the author about it, and we agreed that I would write the screenplay because I have a particular vision for this book. It’s unlike a lot of books where you’d have to radically change them. The screenplay is going to be very, very in harmony with the book. The fact that Bill Myers is also a screen writer as well as an excellent story-teller probably is why my life is fairly easier on this one than it has been on other projects.

But Eli is an extremely challenging character and story. It just won’t let you off the hook. Jesus is not a milquetoast, mamby-pamby, pablum-spouting, do-gooder. He challenges you, every turn that you make, to what you hold is real and what your values are. I should have the screenplay done in the next week and, if I get the financing, will have the film ready for next year. It’s really more me. I really can’t do a film that I don’t see myself in or in some way can grab ahold of the theme and the story and take it somewhere.


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The Ultimate Gift – An Interview with Author Jim Stovall

Can you tell me about the book The Ultimate Gift?

The Ultimate Gift is about when one of the richest men in the world is coming to the end of his life and instead of making all of his relatives instant millionaires forever, he has a grandson he sees some potential in and instead of giving him money, sends him on a twelve month odyssey which he has to learn the gift of money, friends, and family. In the end if he can accomplish all of these things, then he will receive the ultimate gift.

What inspired this story?

I had written five books or so before this and they were all non-fiction. I had written everything I knew and everything I kind of suspected, so it was time to come up with some fiction. I liked the way the story wrapped around the messages I wanted to deliver.

I had a co-worker diagnosed with terminal cancer and she made me the guardian of her 11 year old child. And in that process gave me a lot of instruction: make sure she knows about dating, driving, and going to college and those sorts of things. So that whole concept of somebody passing something on at a time when they knew they weren’t going to be there I think is where some of that came from.

Do you see this journey that Jason is on as an allegory for discipleship?

I think it can be. The whole concept of us passing on things that matter, both practical, spiritual, financial, all these things that make a difference. How we manage our money, how we manage our life is a reflection of our faith. I don’t think you can separate those out. Too many people try to compartmentalize their faith. “I’m doing good in my faith area, but I’m doing bad in my family area.” I don’t think you can do that.

Can you tell me a bit about your own spiritual journey?

I grew up in a Christian home. My father has worked for Oral Roberts for over 50 years now, still working. I grew up in that environment. We were in church every week. I would say, as I look back on it now, that I was a very religious person. I did it because that was what we did. And then at age 17 I was diagnosed with a disease that would result in my blindness and you immediately go from religion to relationship. That faith has to go from a theory that you take down and polish off on Sunday mornings to something real that you can live with.

How involved were you with the movie? Did it turn out as you imagined/hoped?

There has probably not been an author who has had as much involvement as I did. I had script approval, I worked with them on casting, and I actually played a small part in the film. That was fun. So all and all, I was very pleased.

Obviously when you turn a book into a movie you have to make changes. Leave things out, add an element of danger, we had to give Jason a girlfriend … some things like that. But by and large, I was totally pleased with the final product.

Can you tell me about the broader ministry you see this movie being a part of?

We do a lot of work in public schools, we do a lot of work in prisons. The Ultimate Gift is taught as a curriculum now and we’re able to go into a lot of places. It has become almost like a movement.

What’s the one thing you’d like people to take away from this movie?

That our life has been given to us as a gift and there are things we’re here to do. And we’re supposed to do them otherwise we’d all just be in heaven now. So it’s been given to us as a gift and how we deal with it on a daily basis is our tribute to the gift we’ve been given.

Do you think you’re passing along the gift of story?

Well, I hope so. You know whether you are talking about the Bible or not, when you tell a good story, you’ve earned the right to speak into people’s lives. I could talk to you for an hour and a half about a certain message or I could just say it’s like the good Samaritan and you’d know what I was talking about. We all have those connections with a great story. So hopefully it will live and the message will come through that way.

What are you up to now?

The sequel to The Ultimate Gift comes out next month. It’s called The Ultimate Life and it follows what happens to Jason right after the movie. So we continue on into his life.


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The Ultimate Gift – A Review

“The Ultimate Journey”

“Every happening great or small is a parable by which God speaks to us and the art of life is to get the message.” –Malcolm Muggeridge

Seems to be the season for movies that see themselves as a part of a larger mission (I’m looking at you, Evan Almighty), which carries with them the burden that we aren’t watching art unfold as much as a propaganda piece. Based on the best-selling novel by Jim Stovall, director Michael Sajbel brings us The Ultimate Gift. In a lot of ways, The Ultimate Gift could be seen as a more sincere re-imagining of Brewster’s Millions, since at their core, they have the same message.

“It’s amazing how far the fruit can fall from the tree.” –Miss Hastings (Lee Meriwether)

Billionaire Red Stevens (James Garner) dies and the vultures he calls family circle about ready to dine on his still cooling body. More interested in what they’d get from the will than in the passing of someone they supposedly loved, we’re hammered by the point that money—the love of it and the ease it provided—ruined them.

The only hopeful heir comes in the form of brat playboy, Jason Stevens (Drew Fuller). He’s told that he has been left a gift, something to help make up for how Red “ruined his life”, but he must complete a series of tests in order to receive it. So like the 12 tasks of Hercules, Jason Stevens sets about his quest of receiving a series of twelve gifts leading up to the ultimate gift: the gift of work, the gift of friends, the gift of money, the gift of problems, the gift of family, the gift of learning, the gift of laughter, the gift of gratitude, the gift of dreams, the gift of giving, the gift of a day, and the gift of love.

“Don’t be pathetic.” –Emily (Abigail Breslin)

Along the way, Jason encounters Little Miss Sunshine’s Abigail Breslin as dying girl, Emily, and her mother, Alexia (Ali Hillis) as well as a number of life lessons. Like how friendship is a beautiful and unique form of love, providing a genuine opportunity for our need for intimacy to be met and serve as a protection against isolation and loneliness. That it is a treasure to be valued for its own sake. Or how we use money, rather than letting it use us, can be a form of spiritual formation. That giving is a way of organizing even the financial parts of our lives around life with God and can be a form of worship. How reprioritizing our spending habits acknowledging that all that we have comes from God and cultivates a spirit of gratitude.

“You don’t begin to live until you’ve lost everything.” –Red

The ultimate gift is a journey of learning, of discipleship, of forming one another in the way of Christ. The healing comes, even early in his journey, that the outstretched arms of Christ are meant for us. He just has to learn what it means to be a disciple. As author Robert Webber put it “discipleship is a long obedience in the same direction.” The gift shapes Jason into the kind of man he should be as he learns to serve others, put himself in other’s situations, counts his blessings, values education, learns truth, and seeks forgiveness. With obedience to his grandfather’s tests comes the attitudes of peacemaking, endurance, respect, cooperation, and sacrifice. And like all journeys, it takes time. Experience takes a long time to gain. Learning takes a long time. Spiritual formation takes a long time.

“You need to come up with a dream, then act on it.” –Red

We’re often too weighted down and not free to dream rather than going through the motions of life. Sometimes it requires an end of self moment or as Jason confesses “Up until now, I’ve only existed. I’ve drifted through life thinking that was enough. And honestly, I don’t know if I have my own dream. But I do know I can help others fulfill theirs.” To realize that a dream has been provided to help people resist empty ways of life by becoming fully human in the way of Jesus, to learn what it means to love one another, and to join in his mission to bless the world. To be with people we love, who love each other. That is the ultimate gift.

The Ultimate Gift is one of those relentlessly heart-warming movies, sometimes so earnest it hurts (it even sums up the lessons for everyone during the credits). Aimed at its nebulous target audience known as the Christian market, Hollywood continues to struggle with how to reach them, stumbling onto a more intentional Disney-type product. The Ultimate Gift, though flawed, asks us to examine what sort of legacy we plan on leaving behind. Misters Stova'l and Sajbel leave us with one last gift to consider: the gift of a story.


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Sunshine - A Review

“Seeing the Light”

The story goes that Icarus , along with his father, Daedalus, sought escape from a tower. Daedalus made the two of them wings to fly to their freedom, however, Icarus, in his excitement, flew too close to the sun which melted the wax that held his wings together and he plummeted to his death. Icarus (voiced by Chipo Chung), also the name of the central computer of the spacecraft, has shades of HAL, but 2001 was not the only movie ghost recalled while watching Sunshine, the latest from director Danny Boyle and writer Alex Garland, the creative team from 28 Days Later. From Alien to, yes, even Event Horizon, all manner of space thriller have echoes in this film.

Sunshine is essentially the tale of 8 people, the crew of the Icarus II, on the back of a bomb, Lifeboat in space, a last ditch effort to save our dying sun in the future. The movie plays with your eyes and heads, flashing images like they were burned into our corneas after staring into the sun too long. The heart of the terror in the movie lies in how it makes even the simplest looking acts, from space walks to the slightest change in a flight trajectory, bubble with shadows of dread.

If you kept waiting for that “cowboy up” moment, you know, a Bruce Willis in Armageddon type moment, this isn’t that kind of movie. It’s an existential horror flick, a meditation on man’s place in the cosmos, before God.

“The point about darkness is you float in it … Darkness is the absence of something … Light envelopes you. It becomes you.” –Searle (Cliff Curtis)

The central figure of the movie is the image that stuck with me: the sun. Constant, taken for granted, we always look to it for life. We can get overwhelmed by the purity of its light and so invigorated that we lose ourselves in it.

It seems strange then to find such terror in it. How our experiences with the sun involve such a sense of mystery, an … otherliness to the entire experience. How such fear can be generated from something which provides warmth and life.

“All our science all our hopes, all our dreams are foolish. In light of this, we are all dust. When He chooses for us to die, it is not our place to challenge God.” –Captain Pinbacker (Mark Strong)

The story goes that through one man, Adam, sin, and thus death, entered the world. The light of God, personal communion with Him, wasn’t enough and Adam strove to become like God in his own eyes. In Sunshine, again death comes through one man, Captain Pinbacker, ready to lead all of humanity to death.

We often sense, if not experience, and existential terror, a gnawing emptiness that claws at our souls. A darkness, the deep, that threatens to suck the joy for all aspects of our lives, that can lead to a spiraling sourness to life that makes us want to crawl into bed and never get out. Pinbacker and his crew had strayed so far from what they were intended to do that it led Mace (Chris Evans of The Fantastic Four) to question “What are you trying to remind us of? Our lost humanity?”

“I hope you’re proud of your son. Savior of mankind.” –Capa (Cillian Murphy)

That same story continues that just as death came through one man, life, too, came through one man, Christ; or in Sunshine’s case, Capa. Despite the light seeming to fail and people taking things into their own hands, all their efforts are thwarted by the plan, the will, of the sun. So that even when the sun seems to die, it comes back, a new life coming from a dying one.

“We should never have gone off mission.” --Mace

It also follows that life revolves around the sun and its light, such that we should live in the light of the sun, “establishing new alignment to the sun.” as Icarus puts it. We’re forced to examine what it means to move in orbit with the sun, how our priorities might change, and we may desire to want to know the light, want to experience the light more – creating a mission in light of this. And like the crew manning Icarus II, the thing about the mission is that all you have to do to know if it succeeds is to look up, look around, and see a little more brightness in a dark world.

The story goes that Moses wanted to know God more intimately and asked to see His glory. The Lord protected Moses from seeing Him directly, but allowed him to catch a glimpse of his glory in passing. Such was Moses’ experience that when he came down from Mt. Sinai from communing with God, his face still glowed.

Sunshine is an intense, taut sci-fi/horror thriller, a thinking person’s movie. Claustrophobic feel, yet packing a lot into the ship’s cramped confines. The monster and hero are both the sun, though it leaves plenty of room for villainy of our own making. The deaths are truly chilling (sometimes literally) and stick with you in powerful ways. It’s a brooding journey that pays off in a massive way. Sunshine does for sci-fi/horror what 28 Days Later did for zombies: trades on the familiar to breathe new life into the genre. So let the sun shine in.


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The Simpsons Movie – A Review

"I can't believe we're paying for something we get on tv for free." – Homer (Dan Castellaneta)

I remember when the X-Files became a movie while the show was still on the air. There was a great deal of trepidation, by us fans, that the movie would be a “jump the shark” moment for the tv series or otherwise not be able to sustain an entire movie with its mythology. So of course we worried about what writer-producers James L. Brooks, Matt Groening, Al Jean, and Mike Scully would do when they had to fill five times the usual space (when you take out the commercials) that a movie allows.

After 18 years of weekly genius, though some would argue that its best years are behind it, The Simpsons Movie has moments in it for new fans and long time fans alike. The movie succeeds at taking the best parts of what makes The Simpsons a long-standing great show and translates them to the big screen. Every bit as smart, with all of the social commentary, and all of the family dynamic, except deeper. Depth as opposed to more explosions, convoluted plot, or any other attempt at “bigger/more is better” that has afflicted many of the films this year (I’m especially looking at you Spider-Man 3 and Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End).

Marge (Julie Kavner) provides an emotional resonance that buoys the film, even during the moments where it drags a bit. After all, it has quite a few messages and bits of social commentary to juggle: a pro-environment stance, a meditation on family, and even a critique of politics and religion. The great thing about The Simpsons Movie is that when the movie begins to drag, or even thinks it’s about to, it throws in a distracting gag.

The difference between the two big pro-environment comedies of the summer is that Evan Almighty was message first, comedy second; while The Simpsons Movie is comedy first, message second. From Lisa (Yeardley Smith) and her “An Irritating Truth” presentation to the events leading up to Homer precipitating an environmental disaster, the movie doesn’t forget what it is here to do (and preaching isn’t one of them despite its lessons coming through loud and clear).

One of the lessons from the Genesis account of creation (in that book Homer could find no answers in) is that we were created to be stewards of creation. Yet, we’ve lost our connection with creation, continuing to develop new ways to either insulate ourselves from it or encroach our brand of civilization into it. Our souls are starved for God’s creation and even the Simpsons themselves retreat to a natural getaway in Alaska in order to find their spiritual connection to the environment.

"What's the point of going to church every Sunday if when someone we love has a religious experience, we ignore it." - Marge

The religious satire was on point, as critical as it was loving. The movie skewers the religiosity of folks who don’t know how to translate what they learn on Sundays ("Those pious morons are too busy talking to their phoney baloney God." Homer opines) into lessons that don’t lead to them prepared to lynch someone (Homer) when pressed. Although Homer betrays that even he has missed the point of who he’s supposed to be learning about in church ("Praise Jebus.").

When true spirituality gets it right, such as the cryptic though prophetic voice of a “caught up in the Spirit” Grandpa (Dan Castellaneta), the mystic side of it proves of little practical value. However, the core messages of what it means to be a good neighbor and what it means to be a family are embodied in Ned Flanders (Harry Shearer). Despite the caricature of him being the most pious of the pious, he also seems to be the only one who makes any attempt to live out what he believes. His example causes Bart (Nancy Cartwright) to question the qualities that make a good father. He continues to love his neighbors despite their antics. He is a caricature with heart, which also sums up the Simpsons: a satire with heart.

"Unless you have an epiphany, you will spend the rest of your days alone." - Medicine Woman (Tress MacNeille)

As always, the movie centers around the dim-witted Homer and his antics which usually inspire a town to lynch him, him flee the city, and inadvertently cause him to examine himself and how he does things. All in quest of an epiphany - the sudden realization of a great truth; in Homer's case, it was an end of self moment: "I don't care about myself anymore because other people are just as important as me." It is a long road he has to travel in the movie as he examines what it means to be a farther and husband as well as his responsibility to his neighbors. In order to save himself he has to save others.

Cartoon series translated into movies are tricky propositions. For every Beavis and Butthead do America there is a South Park: Bigger, Longer, Uncut. The Simpsons Movie falls into the latter category, using its extra allotted space to do more of what it does best. Expanding and using the various characters’ mythologies, ratcheting up the intensity of the family interplay. Pushing what they can get away with (in terms of language and nudity). There are no radical character developments. In fact, the characters never grow: lessons learned today are forgotten tomorrow. The Simpsons have remained the same for nearly twenty years and we wouldn't have it any other way.


When all is said and done, The Simpsons Movie plays like an extra long episode of the television show, both subversive and good-hearted. Hmm, that’s not a bad review at all and all we can hope for from what some might consider an aging franchise. The movie works because they took the time, nearly six years and 11 writers, to do it right. This keeps my hope alive for what a 24 movie might look be able to accomplish.


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Friday Night Date Place - Never the Bridesmaid

Ladies, have you ever wondered how it is that I’m able to continue to write this column in a way that seems to continually resonate with you? Sure, we could blame it on the fact that I have many, many, many female friends have to listen to their constant complaints, uh, observations about men and dating. It could also be that I end up in many situations you can relate to: I’ve been asked to be, well, the matron of honor in a friend’s wedding.

Actually this will be my second time as the matron of honor in a friend’s wedding (and, by the way, all of you funny folks who want to see me in a dress, the official title of a guy standing on the bride’s side is honor attendant. I don’t have to wear a dress. So far, I haven’t even had to hold the bouquet). The lady in question is one of my oldest and dearest friends (we met a year before Jon and I if that gives you any idea of how long I tend to keep friends around). I even served as her La Maz coach and, as my wife can now attest, I am comedy gold in the delivery room.

Anyway, this has gotten me thinking about how many weddings I have been a part of, since I know this is a concern for many folks. I have one friend who treats weddings like moving her friends: after a certain age, you shouldn’t have to do them anymore. I have another friend who refuses to be a part of any wedding until her own. All told, I’ve been a part of 15 weddings. Breaking down the math:

9 times as a groomsman
--> 5 times as the best man (or honor attendant)
3 times as an usher
2 times performing the service
1 time as the groom

On the flip side, I have some friends who have never been a part of a wedding. This is what resonates most with me and why I almost always take part in weddings when asked. To me, it’s an honor. Sure, it’s also a headache (getting a tux, not a dress, having to organize the bachelorette party, etc), but it’s about the relationship. I have never understood folks who complain about having to be in weddings. This is someone who has meant a lot to me and the feeling must be mutual because she wants me standing by her side on her special day.

If that’s not the case, say no. I’ve had to say no to a couple of folks before (only one of which I came to regret). However, even in that case, it was because I didn’t think we were close enough or had even known each other long enough for me to be standing by his side (it goes back to the idea of instant intimacy: I had only known him a few months at the time … and it was a little weird to go from acquaintance to best man). Like I said, this is a judgment call because only you know the nature of your relationships.

I might as well make my peace with weddings now rather than later. After shooting off my mouth about family always growing, I have several weddings in my future. And I will consider it a blessing to be a part of the most important day in my family’s lives.


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Passing the Baton

My sons will probably be Colts fans. They will be raised Colts fans, probably a good chunk of it being to please me and spend time with me. We’ll cheer together and mourn their losses together. However, one day, they will have to figure out whether or not they like the Colts for themselves or even like football, period.

Or, my children will be sci-fi geeks. We watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Farscape together. They are taught from an early age that Star Trek: Deep Space Nine is the best of the Star Trek franchises. In a few years they will be going to the sci-fi tent revivals known as conventions.

One of the hardest things for parents to do is train their children how to critically think, to think for yourselves. Without the “indoctrination” or what amounts to spiritual coercion. To allow them to think through their faith, their beliefs, and keep stretching themselves - in other words, to allow them to keep asking questions.

It’s the parents’ job to pass on family, cultural, and even spiritual values. To instill our values through our actions rather than our words, even though we ought to be explaining our values to them. Passing on the faith, raising kids with faith, is a tricky proposition. Here’s our dilemma: in order for children’s faith to become their own, they need to connect to it on their terms in their time. What we’ve seen happen entirely too often is well-intentioned coercion as we manipulate kids to make “decisions for Christ”. Our spiritual journey is not about brainwashing our children or otherwise make them go to church in order to ensure their spiritual growth. My experience is more to the contrary: few things turn folks off of church and religion like forcing them to do it. Thus explaining the college/on their own backlash against church and religion we so often see.

Ours is a household of faith and our children will be “raised as Christians”. We, as parents, believe, we pray, we share our faith and our traditions. At our parents’ dedication, where we affirm in front of our church community our intentions on how we plan on raising our children, this was said:

By dedicating Reese/Malcolm, we are publicly affirming our desire as parents to submit (our son) to God’s protection and guidance. We are saying that we want God’s perfect will to be established in the raising of (our son). As parents, we are an instrument that God has chosen to be His tool to express to God and the congregation that our desire is to raise (our son) as God would desire. All we possess belongs to the Lord, this includes our children.

Also we received a baton symbolizing our faith that contains a letter, from our respective pastors at the time, which talked about our faith. On their 18th birthdays, they get to open the batons. Whether or not they have made our faith their own by then, who knows, that is up to them. I can only do what I know I am responsible for. Our children are going to grow to be who they are; we’re not in charge of what they’re going to be like. We create the ethos, the values, and the support structure for our children, guiding them while at the same time discovering them.


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