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Friday, February 29, 2008

Friday Night Date Place – Shopping to Shop

Smokey Robinson sang about “my momma told me, ‘you better shop around’” (my dad listened to Smokey Robinson and the Miracles, I’m not dating myself by any stretch). I am more of a pragmatist at heart than a romantic, so a certain about of shopping, haggling, and trading makes sense to me. Also feeding into this is the fact that I’m a guy, so mid-life crises (still not dating myself) also makes sense to me.

I can see this blog quickly getting away from me (it’s the potential pitfall of writing about singles’ issues while your wife not only reads over your shoulder, but keeps flashing back to the series of break ups the two of you had while dating), so let me try this another way. On a certain level, I understand (not saying I condone, approve, or otherwise give assent to) the idea of people trading up: to go prettier, smarter, funnier, wealthier in their next relationship – a terminal case of the grass-is-always-greener-itis. (Unless you are escaping a bad situation, then just run!)

It’s not much of an intuitive leap since too often we treat relationships like disposable commodities. However, what I can’t get my mind around is the idea of shopping to be shopping, or rather, trading simply for the sake of trading. A lateral move rather than a move up in anyway. I suppose in guy parlance, it could be seen as getting a little “strange” on the side; taking us back to the idea of folks getting tired of the same old home-cooking (which would really suck for me since I do all of the cooking in our house. I mean that in the literal sense).

The irony of all of this—between the stereotype of the mid-life crisis/trading the wife for the young secretary and/or the idea of getting some “strange”—is that the reason this topic has come up is because in my circle of friends, it has been the guys dumped. So obviously, this is an equal opportunity condition.

Selfishness and narcissism can rot relationships from the inside. The idea of entitlement, things being about “my needs” and “me first”, is antithetical to how relationships ought to work. Not having needs met; wanting to feel young, pretty, relevant, pursued again; simply wanting a change of scenery, these are symptoms of a poor idea of how relationships work (and while dating, maybe it’s best that they leave. However, these are things that ought to be worked through in a marriage situation).

We suffer from a relational disconnect. There is an emotional desensitization that comes with spending too much time with one person, especially when locked in the same routine. Relationships can only survive by continual reconnection. We combat the disconnect by being present in the relationship, investing time, self, and energy into it, prioritizing the person we wish to spend our life with.

I have a couple of friends who I see constantly. We worry about relational fatigue because we don’t want to get sick of each other. I worry about it less (now) because, for one thing, relationships change. If you take a look at your current circle of friends, there’s a good chance that a year from now, maybe two, the complexion of your circle of friends will be different. People whom you shared intimate secrets with one day drift (or storm) out of your life. People fight. Misunderstandings occur. Trust is betrayed. People move, switch social circles, life, circumstances, what have you - you wake up one day and realize that some folks aren’t as close to you or aren’t as much a part of your world as they used to be. There is a natural ebb and flow to relationships.

For another thing, we have a dynamic I pray will be sustained despite the aforementioned observation about relationships. It’s like we’re in a constant competition to see who can love each other more. The math is simple: Continual acts of love = continual reconnection. Not letting the relationship grow stale or old, valuing the time you spend together, not taking the relationship for granted. Distance may make the heart grow fonder, but only until the heart no longer cares.

Browse if you need to, that’s what dating is all about. Serially wrapping yourself in a relationship simply for the sake of doing so (for the sake of not wanting to be alone, or needing a new face to keep you company), is the height of selfishness. And you may want to seriously look in the mirror and examine yourself about that.


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Thursday, February 28, 2008

A Good Year So Far

(aka I'm letting my inbox recover from yesterday's post ...)

Well, 2008 is shaping up to be a serious breakout year for me. The year where I finally feel like I'm no longer just playing a writer on the Internet. My story "Snapping Points" is currently up on the MagusZine site (which also has a new story by Jason Sizemore).



Come March, you will find me in a couple of places. Apex Science Fiction and Horror Digest #12 will have my story “Broken Strand” (as well as having stuff by Brian Keene, Steven Shrewsbury, Michael West, and Alethea Kontis – all sorts of Mo*Con alumni).
Doorways #5 will have my story “Just a Young Man and His Games” in it (and I’ll be sharing covers with Bob Freeman)
Mo*Con III will see the debut of at least two projects. The first is the novella co-written with Wrath James White, “Orgy of Souls.” I’ll have a separate blog about this one further down the road, which may double as my resignation letter from Christianity entirely as Wrath seemed determined to get me all kinds of fired.

The second is an anthology from the Indiana Horror Writers. I have two stories in there, “Soul Food” (a reprint of the first story ever published by me) and “Dark Night of the Soul”. They will sit proudly along stories by Bob Freeman ("Born Again"), Michael West ("Trolling"), Sara Larson ("Co-Dependency") and Tracy Jones’ ("The Coven") among others. Bob not only designed the cover but also the book trailer.



Later on this year will see the arrival of a couple of other new projects, some of them, once more, alongside Bob Freeman and Steve Shrewsbury (my story, "The Iron Hut" coming out in the Eldritch Steel anthology), that I'll announce closer to when they are coming out. One way to look at this is that I’m stalking Bob, Michael, and Steve. Another is that it’s nice to have your friends enjoying success alongside you.

Oh, and my story "Rite of Passage" was just accepted by Space and Time Magazine. Like I said, not a bad year so far.


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Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Why I Haven’t Self-Published

Whenever a writer talks about writing at any length, eventually the topic of whether or not to self-publish comes up. It doesn’t matter how gingerly how one talks about the subject, once it rears its head, it can become fairly divisive. Accusations of being elitist, a shill for the establishment/Old Boys Network; of belittling those who challenge the way things have been done, the comments come quick and furious as people justify their career choices. And that’s what it boils down to – a career decision each writer must make for themselves.


[Continued on Blogging in Black]

Make with the clicky clicky, but excuse me while I head to my bomb shelter to duck the incoming slings.

Edited to add:


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Tuesday, February 26, 2008

I Don’t Twitter

Seriously, I hate Twitter. I hate the idea of Twitter. In fact, as I hop on my hypocrisy broom since I have a column and a blog, in this age of blogs and Twitter and Facefook and MySpace, it may be time for many folks to shut up.

There’s a reason we aren’t telepaths: I don’t have to hear your every thought, especially when you think it. Too many of us as is don’t take the time to sit with our thoughts, to mull things over, before we open our pie holes. No, we feel something in the moment and then blog it, let your mouth get away from us (or rather, our fingers get ahead of us as we come down with a case of keyboard courage).

Maybe I’m just disappointed by the level of conversation. More likely, I see myself as a professional writer and with the Internet being largely a medium of words (and porn), I tend to cling to the pipe dream that as written communicators, we should be able to present our ideas and opinions in clear and precise ways. Of course, the other edge of that writer’s sword that I’m swinging is that writers have ego enough to believe that what they write deserves to be read. Unfortunately, Twittering everything that pops into your head gives plenty of room for people to see the shallowness and vacuity of those thoughts.

It’s easy to shoot yourself in the foot on the Internet. As we vomit our gossipy messages all over the Internet, heedless of the mess we make, we forget two things: one, careless words can’t be unsaid, even more so on the Internet; and two, the Internet is forever and we don’t realize that nothing is truly deleted.

Maybe I’m just a curmudgeon who can’t idly flit away a day updating folks on his mood. Keep in mind that I don’t text message. I don’t believe the language of Shakespeare should be reduced to OMG C U L8TR, but that’s a rant for another day.


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Monday, February 25, 2008

Fundamentalist Atheism

Fundamentalists of all stripes have more in common than they think.

I was thinking about this after a conversation with someone who I consider an atheist fundamentalist as well as with someone who I consider a Christian fundamentalist. (I don’t mean fundamentalist as in they have a few fundamental tenets that undergird what they believe. I mean fundamentalist as in that cultural mindset of a strident adherence to a set of beliefs.)

There are some universal characteristics of fundamentalists. Fundamentalists tend to view the world from a reactionary perspective. They see themselves as defenders of their faith, be it a belief in science and the doctrine of the scientific method or rationalism in general. And they view these principles as vital to not only a way of life for them, but for society as a whole. Through their belief system, salvation is possible. When their beliefs are challenged or threatened, it is felt at a personal as well as social level.

They (have elevated and) believe their cause to be of central importance. Certain issues become fundamental, all or nothing type beliefs, thus their posture of having to fight back perceived encroachments on their worldview (or more generously, fight for their worldview). Unfortunately, this tends to lead to a demonizing, a caricaturizing, of their enemies (backing up, it leads to them declaring some people their enemies). Enemies that need to be converted. They become just as evangelistic when laying out the atheist equivalent to the “Four Spiritual Laws”/Chick tracts. True fanatical devotees spend time on blogs, message boards, endlessly raging about the Church and Christians. It all becomes about reinforcing their identity. I keep waiting for an atheistic jihad (or Crusades, depending on which side you are on of the analogy) to be declared.

Basically, I get as big a headache talking to them as any other fundamentalist. Mostly because conversation is limited due to the fact that they are more inflexible in their thinking than they want to believe. The idea of faith is irrelevant. The God question is irrelevant . Ultimate questions become any questions. So conversations with people who take their faith seriously becomes difficult. It’s one thing to question, doubt, critique, but when you dismiss people of faith as idiots, conversation ceases (and typically further name calling ensues).

The journey of knowledge begins with an assumption: atheists begin with human reason (“I know through my reason, I know because I’ve reasoned that”); people of faith with theirs (“The Bible is the word of God because it says it is”). Oversimplified, I know, but minds of inquiry and genuine intellectual curiosity can journey together. I have enjoyed conversations with many of my atheist friends. I also understand how many have had bitter experiences with the church, faith, or those who call themselves Christians (and we’ve given plenty of reason for folks to be bitter) and have become fundamentalist in their thinking. When there is mutual respect, conversations can be had, and both sides can learn from the other.


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Friday, February 22, 2008

Friday Night Date Place – Church Screws Up?

“A major source of hostility to sex is religion.” –A.C. Grayling

YBOR CITY, Fla. - A southwest Florida church issued a challenge for its married members this past Sunday: Hanky-panky every day. Relevant Church head pastor Paul Wirth says the 50 percent divorce rate was the catalyst for The 30-Day Sex Challenge.

"And that's no different for people who attend church," Wirth said. "Sometimes life gets in the way. Our jobs get in the way." Oh, and the flip side of the challenge? No rolling in the sheets for the unwed.

A mandate for sex from the pulpit? These people are genius! I like sex (memo to my wife who I know reads this). I am pro-sex. I have no discomfort in talking about it (I talk about it in Friday Night Date Place fairly often). As parents, we try to navigate those seemingly treacherous waters early with our boys, 5 and 6, so the conversations go easier later (the 5 year old recently revealed having a thing for Summer Glau, the female Terminator so we might as well start having these conversations).

Except, the mandate for being pro-sex isn’t the relevant idea from a too cool pastor. It is an idea true to the story of the Bible. Church/religion has screwed up a lot of ideas about how we think about and deal with sex. We act as if the book Song of Songs isn’t in the Bible. We make our kids leave the sanctuary if we mention it. Why? They need to hear about it as much as anyone else. Where best can they learn what it means and how best to love one another?

(And I’m not talking about showing videos with a voiceover saying “here’s how pastor likes it.”)

Take “Christian love songs” for a example. Within the confines of the Christian ghetto, there is a need for Christian pop music, but much of it is bereft of the idea of how romantic love should work or how it should look. Christians singing love songs face hostility from within and without the Christian market, because they are expected to only talk about God, as if all areas of our lives aren’t under God’s dominion. As artists, we should be truthful (and true to our art) about the entire spectrum of the human condition. The whole of lives: being in love, being depressed, the beauty and passion of sex. It’s like there are some aspects of life we aren’t supposed to talk about from our pulpits or in our art.

In the ideal we were meant to be sensual, seeking pleasure in one another, being passionate. Tales of how we love each other should be something to write and sing about as part of enjoying creation includes each other’s bodies. Unfortunately, every relationship is touched by sin and pain. We’re a broken people doing our best to muddle through broken relationships as best we can.

We need a better, a bigger, view of romance and sex, both within the church and without. There is beauty to be found and had; the power and heat of attraction; the meaning of sex and the need to be known; the sensuality of being appreciated and of building up one another and putting the other’s needs ahead of your own. Conversations had without shame, all building on a sacred trust and commitment. Sex is the divine connection, we need to know more about it and not abuse it.

Dating is the process of two stories coming together in light of a greater Story. There is a public as well as private dimension to the process. I commend this church for having this dialogue on sex. Things ought to be discussed in community. Friends can see the disparity between the ideal (how folks in love see each other) and the real (how their friends truly are). Love gains confidence when affirmed by others, especially those who know them. In community, we need to model how to love one another and how to nurture relationship. In private, we need to pace ourselves and the relationship. If nothing else, remember the wisdom of Song of Songs 2:7: “Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you by the gazelles and by the does of the field: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.”


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Thursday, February 21, 2008

Fear of Punishment II

All of this talk of parenting and punishment got me to thinking about why we obey God. A friend of mine asked if I obeyed the tenets of my faith because I was afraid of punishment (either of burning in hell or being otherwise “smited”). On the flip side, am I obedient strictly because of the possible privileges (either eternity in heaven or otherwise getting rewarded)?

I suppose in our capitalist way of thinking, reward and punishment isn’t a bad motivation for why we do things. The downside is that this places us only a hop, skip, and an apostasy from the prosperity gospel that has infected Christianity.

Ultimately, it paints a rather sad way to live. Fear of punishment is no way to establish and maintain a relationship. It’s the kind of “love me … or else!” mentality of an abusive parent, a relationship build on fear which is quite the opposite of love. I do think there is a fearful element to God, one built of awe and majesty, of the transcendent and a fear of losing that which is precious.

Part of me wonders if this “fear of punishment” mentality stems from the fact of the Gospel message having been reduced to a legal transaction (Christ’s sacrifice balancing the scales of cosmic justice) or presented at Christ sparing us from the hands of an angry God (leading to a get your own butt into heaven, save yourself sort of salvation).

So why should I be obedient? Why should I love God? Is it a matter of “because I said so” (the oldest of parental justifications)? Do we love God because he first loved us, thus we have a debt to love him? Do we also love him because it is in our best interest to do so? Is any of this the kind of love we want to build a relationship on? Do we love God because it is the natural response for all that he has done for us?

Someone want to jump in here and save me from my spiraling thoughts?*



*This is one of those times when my faith is pretty simple: I love God because … he’s God. I love my parents not because I’m scared of them or want into their will, but because they’re my parents. They first loved me and love tends to reciprocate. It’s not a matter of debt or obligation. God's law is relational, Him stepping into my life to guide and protect. Obedience sustains the relationship. It's love in practice.


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Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Fear of Punishment I

So for a while now, my wife and I have been struggling with the idea of how to go about disciplining our kids. We have no interest in raising undisciplined monsters who are over-indulged. On the other hand, I have huge issues with spanking being the only tool in a parents tool kit. Too often, it’s lazy parenting (“do what I say or I’ll beat you”) or worse, done in anger and frustration. The anger and frustration thing really bothers me. I don’t care how often you “explain” to your child why they are getting spanked, when it’s done as the discipline or choice or done in anger/frustration, the child is going to associate violence with that parent.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not afraid to spank a butt, but I want it to be one of my last tools, not the first thing I reach for. (Have you noticed how defensive parents get about their decisions on how to raise their child? No one wants to be thought of as doing a bad job/screwing up their kids. We may have to bring back to having a therapy jar.*)

Over the last couple months, we’ve settled on a “levels” system. Ours was adopted from the one my sister uses, though hers has levels with sub-categories of points and involves a lot more paperwork (ultimately, it’s similar to the system used at the Juvenile Detention Unit. In other words, we might as well get our kids used to that system).

We have two boys, Reese (Maurice the II) and Malcolm. Each has their own personality, likes, and dislikes, so we had to tailor their punishments for each of them. In short:

Level 6 – this is the Holy Grail of levels. A pipe dream. They have to sustain being at Level 5 for a week. It’s the equivalent of me being so good, I get put back in my parents’ will. (To be fair, Reese did actually get to Level 6 for one brief shining moment to show that he could do it. He got to pick his prize, which was to design a family evening, anything from a trip to the zoo or Children’s Museum to Chuck E. Cheese. For him it meant ordering in Chinese food and getting a toy he had his eye on. The next day, he promptly lost his mind and went down a couple levels).

Level 5 – where they should be. All privileges intact.

Level 4 – they lose candy (Malcolm) and allowance (Reese). For the record, allowance (all of fifty cents a week) was instituted so that they could see how long it takes to save up to a) go to McDonald’s or b) buy that toy on television.

Level 3 – they lose videogame (Malcolm) and crafts (Reese).

Level 2 – they lose bedtime reading (both).

Level 1 – they lose television time (both).

Level 0 – they lose play date privileges (because we’re so active with friends, we have about four a week. The down side is every night we’re met with the question “who’s coming over tonight?”) The kid is on lockdown. No privileges. Except books. They are always allowed books.

A few months in, this is working surprisingly well. We keep the system simple for now (they are only 5 and 6) so that they understand the consequences for their actions. As they get older, I’m sure we’ll tweak it a bit. They’ve also become a bit of “Level Accountants”, always wanting to know what level they are on and what it will take to get up to the next level. I can live with that. The “no-no paddle” has a nice layer of dust on it.

It’s our continuing experiment in raising children. The downside to having the kids 14 months from each other is that we didn’t have time to work out the kinks on the first one in hopes of getting it right the second time around. Nope, we get to screw them both up at the same time.



*An early idea of mine: every time we did something we thought would screw up the kids, we’d have to put a dollar in the jar. Let’s just say that “Naked Daddy Time” nearly bankrupted me (HEY! It was their own fault! I don’t know why kids feel the need to never let you even go to the bathroom by yourself. They didn’t expect a song and dance routine.)


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Tuesday, February 19, 2008

My Vote is Up for Grabs

Here me candidates from all parties: my vote is up for grabs. Young, middle class, black male, a prime catch if you can hook me. Technically, I’m a registered Republican (don’t get all excited: When I decided to register to vote, I called up each party. I care, but I’m lazy, so I called the Democrats first since they’re first alphabetically. They told me where I could go to get registered. Then I called the Republicans. They came to my door. That’s why they get the right of first refusal of my vote.)

And since I’m really in the mood to make friends, I’ll add this: though I’m a conservative Christian also, I recognize that I can’t simply litmus test candidates based on two issues. Seriously, I don’t know how much homosexual rights and abortion policy have to do with stances on the environment and foreign policy (and don’t give me “character” because we’re still talking about politicians).

At a cursory glance, Republican rhetoric centers too much talking in terms of money and running the country like a business. That’s good and all, but there aren’t too many things I want run like a business, except maybe a business. Serving the needs of people is very seldom bottom-line nor cost effective. Democrats don’t look much better. Too often they run the campaign position of “we’re not them”.

Have you noticed that a lot of these “vs” arguments no longer matter to a lot of us? It’s like they are more interested in arguing with each other, not realizing that they are disconnecting from whole generations of people in the mean time. At some point, if they wish to remain relevant, they will have to turn around (or outside of one another) and start answering the questions being asked of today’s culture. Because when it comes right down to them, the terms describe camps a lot more than they do people.

So here’s what I’m asking O Red and Blue platforms: show me something. Give me your vision. Give me some real candidates, not cardboard cutouts whose “turn” it is to run. You give me intelligent ideas and a sense of hope for the future, and you will have my attention. If not, I will just sit on my couch with my big bowl of apathy topped with cynicism and pray that there’s something good on television.


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Monday, February 18, 2008

Emerging Frustrations

Over the past year or so, it seems like about half a dozen or so churches popping up in the Indianapolis area under the umbrella of being “emergent” (however you choose to define the term; Lord knows I’ve tried before). The Dwelling Place is often called an emergent church (and I have no problem being labeled such), although we tend to refer to ourselves as a missional church (why? Because like any other “denomination”, the term “emergent” comes with a lot of baggage/doesn’t seem to mean anything to most people; whereas the word “missional” people can intuitively grasp).

There has been some great posts on the different models of emerging churches, but I’m much more of a pragmatist than theologian/philosopher. For me, in practice, churches that call themselves emergent tend to fall into one of three camps:

1. Too hip by half. These are what I call the “trappings” brand of churches. It was part of my lament from attending the 2004 Emergent Convention. I saw a lot of people over-emphasizing cosmetic changes and doing creative/“edgy” things almost for their own sake. A more cynical person would accuse them of attempting to re-create their college praise experience or venting their youth leader traumas. At any rate, they seem to be the equivalent to traditional/contemporary worship schisms where the only difference in the service was the brand of music (hymns vs. choruses) played.

2. Traditional looking. When all is said and done, I don’t think The Dwelling Place looks overtly much different than the kind of church I grew up with. Occasionally, candles and media clips are used, but for the most part, none of the boogeyman aspects people have attached to the word “emergent” could be seen there. (One friend of mine said that "I don't know why you don't just call yourself American Orthodox and be done with it.")

3. The picnic set. Foregoing entire the idea of organized “church”, they’ve abandoned anything resembling a traditional model. You never know where you’ll find them (though a coffee shop is a pretty good guess. Emergent folks tend to love coffee and beer.)

So what makes them emergent? Maybe it can be described as an attitude, a matter of their posture. What I mean is that they are about conversation and questioning, meeting people where they are, and realizing that if we can’t be certain about anything, we can learn from anyone. This includes the consumeristic folks in need of the familiar, that is, they need the “look” of the kind of church they grew up in, even though they know they will be stretched out of that mindset (too often emergent folks have a chip on their shoulder against “churched” folk). In other words, there is room for all.

At the same time, they can’t neglect the business of church. Church isn’t always going to look the same. However, I do have a concern about the picnic types. I understand that spiritual times and conversations can be had with a gathering of friends watching an episode of Lost or getting together at a coffee house. The Holy Spirit is present (as the verse goes, where two or more are gathered), so I don’t want to sell Her short.

It’s just that in our hyper-individualistic reaction to the idea of church (and the need to be constantly entertained), we can’t forget the business of church. Spiritual formation. Discipleship. Communion. Being Transformational.

We are to become new creatures, a people of God. Corporate worship should neither be a pep rally nor a lecture hall, but a place for interacting with God, the Word, and the Table (Communion). It should shape who we are. Our individual inner journeys should lead to a heart change and from that heart change, we should be lead to an outward journey of loving other people – done in community.

Jesus already told us the church is a mess and that He’ll sort it out in the end. In the mean time, welcome the stranger and join with others. Continue God’s mission (because He’s already at work) of redeeming the world (the missional aspect of what we should be about). Whether we eat or go to parties, our lives are a mission, an incarnational ministry. And only through continual incarnation is the work of the church done.

I believe in God. I believe in the church.

Still, I always have to question any organization that will have me as a member.


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Friday, February 15, 2008

Friday Night Date Place: Surviving Valentine’s Day

Alright, I am beginning this blog with the ultimate of disclaimers: take anything I have to say with a truckload of salt. I am the guy who once timed a break up to start on December 9th (the day before my then girlfriend’s birthday) only to conveniently reconcile with her on February 15th.

I remember when I wrote:

Men, I’m taking a stand against this Hallmark endorsed day of male oppression. That’s right, someone’s got to do it. That’s right men, stand up, cry out with one voice: “We are not going to participate in this made up holiday for the sake of going through the motions of showing some token affection as if this gets us out of anything during the rest of the year. We know that this so-called holiday is just another opportunity for us to screw up and we refuse to be the objects of scorn presented to your girlfriends as Exhibit A in the case of how men are worthless.”

There’s a lot to rail against when it comes to Valentine’s Day. I can talk about how this pretend occasion is a ritual of memory of those around us who have our affections and it is about taking the time to honor them. On the flip side, I can talk about how no one wants gestures of duty, least of all, your significant other. I can talk about how the idea of romance, and I’m talking about this false story we build up around the ideas of what love should be, is a cancer of expectation in relationships. Or how it reduces and objectifies love. You better have done something.

I don’t care, I don’t care, I don’t care how much you and your S.O. have talked about it and what kind of blood oaths the two of you have made to one another. If your S.O. … okay, let’s be real … if your girlfriend goes through the day with nothing from you (this only gets compounded if while at work, every woman around her is inundated with gifts from thoughtful significant others), wrap yourself in a blanket and enjoy the frozen tundra your relationship will be for the next few days.

It doesn’t matter if every significant other bands together to boycott the occasion, there will always be one to ruin it for everyone else. Be that one.

Here’s the bottom line: you better have done something.

Ideally, you should be living your relationship life in such a way that Valentine’s Day is only a formalized occasion to encounter the ritual of remembrance. The spirit of Valentine’s Day should be part of the fabric of your relationship. I don’t mean continual gifts, I mean continual remembering and gestures of affections. They don’t have to be big. They don’t have to be flashy. They only have to be a thoughtful token of affection and remembrance.

You can’t just say things like “ain’t a roof over your head and food in the refrigerator proof of my love?” And a day after the fact blog on the topic doesn’t count. I’m just sayin’.


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Thursday, February 14, 2008

Notepad Worship

At our Ash Wednesday service, He Who Would Be Head Pastor commented on the fact that I always have a notepad and how to him it personified my attempts to join in with the Holy Spirit by participating in the act of creation. I’ve been stuck on this idea ever since.

My notepad has been like my security blanket. Writers write and we never know when a great idea will hit us, so being caught without a pad and pen is like showing up naked to take a final. I have it with me all the time.

-Next to my bed in case I have an interesting dream. -It goes into the bathroom with me, cause, you know, never a wasted moment. -If I go out for the evening, I tear off a couple of sheets and tuck them into a pocket. My notepad—more specifically, what it represents—nurtures me, I nurture it.

My notepad is also my act of worship. It helps me pay attention, participating and interacting with conversation as I process my thoughts (as opposed to me turning off my brain and “looking” like I’m paying attention). He Who Would Be Head Pastor often sees his ideas mulled over in my blog. It’s the same with my other notepad friends.

Similar to the idea of the thinking bloggers meme, I have friends who I hate talking to without my notepad handy. The kind of friends who make you smarter, iron sharpening iron, just by being around them. Where even casual conversation becomes intellectual bloodsport as we challenge one another’s ideas and spark each other’s creativity. You know, those big brain friends who give you ideas for blogs even with just their throwaway lines. That’s one of the reasons I do Mo*Con. (I suspect that it must be at least mildy ego-stroking for someone to whip out a notepad and jot down a thought inspired by you).

Writing is what I do, it’s my gift. So I bring it before God anyway I can. I love working on stories at church, yes, even (especially!) the darker ones. Surrounding myself with reminders of who the ultimate Author is, whose work I join in. I’m working out my spiritual journey as much through my art as through my faith. I believe using your gifts to your fullest—and bringing yourself to Him in worship—is what pleases God.

So even when it doesn’t look like I’m paying attention, I probably am. After all, there’s a good chance this blog was jotted down during a sermon.


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Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Seriously, You Can’t Say That

Kelly Tilghman, play-by-play announcer for The Golf Channel's PGA Tour broadcasts, while bantering with Nick Faldo about young players who might challenge Woods she suggested that they "lynch him in a back alley." I can almost hear her echoing her fictional counterpart, Ron Burgundy, when he said “I immediately regret this decision.”

Of course she came out with the requisite apology (two days later). Tiger’s representatives declared it a non-issue, but she was suspended for two weeks by the Golf Channel. This wasn’t the same as the Don Imus spewing-viciousness-for-its-own-sake situation. Nor was this Tiger’s first brush with folks misspeaking around him (Hello, Fuzzy Zoeller and your fried chicken and collard greens comment).

Yet my gut reaction was to essentially give her a pass for her slip of the tongue, after all, who among us hasn’t ever said something stupid that we (immediately) regret? The greater issue to consider in evaluating the situation is to recognize that such comments happen within a certain context.

First off, Tiger and Kelly are friends. Jokes you make within family that sound horrendous when someone outside the family hears them, much less, repeats them. We can speak one way with our “boys”, one way with our family, and another way in public/on the record. Still, we have to always be mindful: some language and images need a “handle with care” label attached to them.

Because, secondly, there is a greater problem of context: such comments will always be heard within the cultural-historical context of America, with its convoluted past involving slavery, civil rights, and race relations in general. The image of lynching harkens back to an unfortunate, to say the least, time in American history. Lynching is simply not an image to be taken lightly, but rather is akin to making a rape analogy and I doubt she would joke about that. Such a comment would be heard differently to different ears.

In short, it’s stupid and you can’t say it. However, I don’t think she should have been suspended. I think her apology should have stood on its own, she be reprimanded, and allow the conversations to be had about why what she said was a poor choice of words. We can’t police every bad sentence, because that would stifle conversations that still need to be had. We have a First Amendment right to make a fool out of ourselves, but more importantly, if we truly are to turn the page on this chapter in our history, we need to allow these conversations to happen and in so doing, we need to have thicker skins.


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Monday, February 11, 2008

Road to Mo*Con III: Interview with Lucy A. Snyder

As we begin our series of "Road to Mo*Con" interviews, I thought that I'd take this opportunity to pick the brain of Lucy Snyder. As a guest of last year's Mo*Con, she challenged people with her views on spirituality. Since one of the themes for this year's Mo*Con is gender issues in the genre, I'm especially focused on her opinions on this topic:

What was your introduction to the genre, as a fan and as a professional?

Gary Braunbeck was my introduction both ways. Before I met Gary ten years ago, I had graduated from the Clarion workshop, and consequently I was mostly oriented toward science fiction and fantasy. I had been reading and enjoying horror fiction before that, but most of it had been marketed as gothic literature or dark fantasy or something other than out-and-out horror. For instance, there's a lot of dark, disturbing stuff in Neil Gaiman's Sandman series, but reading it in college I never thought "Hey, this is horror." And more to the point, I'd been writing horror, but I saw myself as writing fantasy and SF.

Again, my genre disconnect was largely due to marketing. I was a teenager in the 80s during the horror boom, and all I saw were the gory, garish covers publishers put on horror novels. I found those really off-putting. Not because it seemed like "male" fiction -- I'd been reading lots of hard SF and spy thrillers, which back then was definitely seen as guy stuff. It was because I associated horror with ignorance, superstition, and sub-par writing. The blood and evil clowns and keytar-brandishing skeletons struck me as incredibly stupid-looking, and I assumed that the contents of said books would surely be just as dumb as their covers. Likewise, I'd seen a few slasher movies and thought, "Wow, that was not for me" afterward, so that also discouraged me from trying books that were overtly marketed as horror. While I blissfully missed out on a lot of crap, I also missed out on some good novels by writers such as JN Williamson.

My experiences as a webzine editor didn't improve my opinion of horror much. Most of the really badly-written, poorly-plotted submissions I got were about psycho killers etc. Sure, I got bad SF submissions, too, but they were forgettably bad. As an editor you will never forget your first batch of necrophiliac poetry, no matter how hard you try.

Conversely, the dark fiction I received that was good always seemed like it was something else: fantasy, usually, or SF. If a story has a lot going on -- and good stories always do -- chances are the eye of the beholder will manage to see it in light of their favorite genre.

Anyhow, enter Gary Braunbeck, my own personal horror ninja. Early on he gave me a copy of his collection Things Left Behind, and it blew me away. It was emotional, and beautifully-written, and most of all, it was smart.

And then Gary was all like, "My horror collection -- let me show you it!" And so over the years he's shown me the good stuff I'd missed the first time around because it had been marketed the same as the stupid bad stuff.

How do you react to the line of thought that "women can't be scary"?

Women can't be scary? Ha. I'd like to see someone tell Poppy Brite or Sephera Giron that to their faces. But let me know first so I have time to make popcorn.

But seriously, that line of thought is bullshit, because it's all kinds of subjective. What's "scary"? Everyone's fears are unique. Yes, there are some experiences that speak to the universal human condition, but from there our perception of what's frightening is inevitably framed by our personal experiences.

Take a story in which a young child is snatched from the family home while the parents sleep. If you're a mother or a father or a doting big brother or sister, that scenario has a lot of potential to be scary. But what if you're a teenager who views little kids as annoyances? That scenario would be a huge yawn unless the kidnapper is some kind of cool monster.

As a reader, I don't find many pieces of horror literature that actually make me feel afraid -- disturbed, perhaps, but not scared. Dan Simmons' The Terror had me reaching for a blanket in the middle of July, but it didn't have me checking under the bed. So I don't look for "scary"; I look for "interesting".

Q: Do women tell different horror stories than men? If horror is all about fears what "fears do women have"?

A: Again, this is very subjective. Sure, the stories I write have different themes and concerns than the stories my husband writes. But he writes different kinds of stories than Ed Lee or Jack Ketchum. I would like to think that every writer is telling unique, imaginatively personal stories, but of course we can all point to plot retreads that were clearly done just to make a buck or two.

Do women have fears that men might not immediately appreciate? Sure. But then, some women might not appreciate them, either. Ten years ago I didn't have much visceral appreciation for stories of miscarriage; I do now.

Gary and I have wanted a baby, and a couple of years after we got married I got pregnant. That was a happy time for us as a couple, but for me personally it was pretty scary. I worried that the baby would be deformed. I worried I would lose the baby. My body was changing, and my personality along with it. I was becoming this whole other person, and I didn't have any damn control over the change. It scared the hell out of me to realize that the person I thought I was could be altered so radically by a few little hormones.

And then I miscarried. And I cannot sum that up as anything but fucking horrible. Do I fear that happening again? Hell yes.

That fear is unique to my biology as a woman. I could incorporate my miscarriage experience into a story and convey the fear and the pain with every ounce of skill I have as a writer, and I expect I could connect with most female readers and many male ones as well.

But I wouldn't connect with everybody. A reader has to be willing to engage with a character to feel anything as a consequence of reading a story, and I know that a certain portion of male readers will start to disengage from anything that comes off as too "womanly" because, hey, this can't happen to them, ever, so why should it seem compelling?

But the flipside is also true: there are things that men fear that a lot of women just don't find scary. For instance, my collection Sparks and Shadows has an essay in it called "Menstruation for Men". Women generally find it pretty funny; men generally recoil in horror from the imagery of bloody bladders and tampons lodged in penises.

Bookstore statistics indicate that female readers tend to read both male and female writers, but that the average male reader won't read female writers. This is clearly an issue of cultural conditioning, and a complex one that doesn't have easy solutions any more than the current trend towards aliteracy -- people who can read, but don't -- has easy solutions.

Some people have privately made the observation that they suspect a trend toward women shying away from horror or complain about its quality of fiction (in relation to its treatment of women) because of some prevailing attitudes. Is horror pushing women away as readers and writers given the trend of violent fiction in small-press?

I don't think that violence per se is the problem. Well, to a certain extent, okay: some readers are turned off by gore and violence no matter how they're handled. On the other end of the bell curve is a portion of horror readers who crave blood and guts and don't care about the finer details as long as they get the chills and thrills they're looking for.

But in between are readers for whom the specific ways violence in fiction is presented matter a great deal. Sexist portrayals can and do turn off readers of both genders. But expectations and preconceptions play a role before a reader even opens a book.

Let's take rape, for example. Rape is often such a horrific, scarring assault that a number of people who've lived through it can't bear to read any fiction that deals with it, no matter how off-stage it is.

And yet I've read plenty of books -- not just horror novels -- wherein a female character is raped purely to amp up the plot. I can picture the never-been-raped writer sitting down and thinking, "Hmm, I've got this female character ... how can I put her in peril? Wait, I know -- rape! That's perilous! *furiously types*"

In many old romances, rapes are unrealistically (and insultingly) portrayed as a kind of rough seduction the woman secretly wants. Plenty of old sword-and-sorcery novels play rape as masculine privilege: the "good guys" rape when they're feeling cranky. I remember throwing down Lord Foul's Bane in disgust after the protagonist rapes Lena. The Thomas Covenant series has been popular, so clearly other fantasy readers -- presumably people who hadn't been raped themselves -- were able to overlook that part of the book.

Rapes in horror are often a bit harder to overlook. In horror a rape often happens on-stage, in detail ... and if it's handled badly, it often comes off as porn for sadists.

And that, I think, is where I think horror's reputation precedes it: horror gets up in your face. It's brutal, and often brutish. It's nasty fiction for nasty people -- just look at the awful covers!

But just as it's a mistake to assume that a garish, adolescent cover is indicative of garish, adolescent writing, it's a mistake to think that women don't read and write horror. The fact is, dark fiction is gaining a lot of popularity with females ... but what they're reading and writing mostly isn't marketed as horror.

Browse the burgeoning racks of paranormal romance and urban fantasy, and you'll find monsters, demons, and scares galore. But instead of a brain-slurping, festering zombie on the cover, you'll see a hot young thing with a blade in her hand.

Maybe the dark fiction being popularized in other genres is a little more toned-down than it would be if it were published as outright horror. And I do think more women ought to be making it as top-tier pro writers outside the romance genre. But the way I see it, women are most definitely writing horror, and people are reading it.

Is the community of horror writers supportive of female horror writers, or are we still looking at "an old boy's club?" Have you sensed any open discrimination of women, for example, at cons?

I can't think that I've ever experienced open discrimination at conventions -- honestly, lit snobbery against the horror genre has been more prevalent (and tiresome), but that's another story. I think that what happens is that people who think of themselves as having fairly progressive notions are still carrying around unexamined gender stereotypes and are buying into double-standards.

Our society has certainly come a long way from the bad old days when the only professions open to women were teaching or nursing, and if you got pregnant you lost your job. But we still have one big-ass double standard gumming up the works, namely the one that says that a woman must first and foremost be decorative. Men are mocked if they're seen as insufficiently powerful; women are mocked if they're seen as insufficiently pretty.

Once you get past high school, though, the standards for male power are pretty diverse; Stephen Hawking can't bench-press anything, but he's hailed for his mind and scientific accomplishments. Alton Brown's no cage fighter, but his black-belt cooking skills and sharp wit have earned him millions of admirers.

But the standards for female beauty are still on the straight and narrow. James Edward Olmos and Laurence Fishburne have plenty of female admirers, but when's the last time any of us saw a movie actress with acne scars? Or any noticeable facial scars? Does Britney Spears get criticized more for flaws in her singing, or for shaving her head? When's the last time you saw a publishing house send an average-looking female writer on a national book tour?

How you look has no bearing on the quality of your writing or the entertainment value of your stories. Your author photo should not matter -- and yet, it does.

Most girls are still being pressured to think of their appearance first and skills/talents second or sometimes not at all. They are taught to back off, wait their turn, be careful, be nice, whereas boys are told to get out there, take chances, fight and be independent. Girls are still given the message that they should be supportive of their boyfriends' ambitions -- aspire to be a cheerleader but never the quarterback. I work in a university building that is overwhelmingly male, and I regularly overhear undergrad boys talking about girls; few if any of them seem to have been taught to be supportive of their girlfriends' ambitions.

I know female authors with supportive spouses -- I count myself among them. But back in college, supportive boyfriends were few and far between. One boyfriend read one of my stories and asked me "Why can't you write anything nice?" Another, who had literary ambitions of his own, looked disdainfully at a contributor's copy of a magazine that had come in the mail and sniffed, "Well, I could do that, too, if I wanted to be in some silly horror magazine!"

My father was always supportive of my desire to be a writer ... provided I stuck with nice, pleasant, non-threatening poetry. I figured out a long time ago to not bother telling him when I've published horror stories. My mother's relatives "distanced" themselves from me after one of them read one of my online horror or erotica stories (I don't know exactly what happened; they simply stopped speaking to me or answering my email).

Getting published and building a career as a fiction writer is a hard slog whether you're male or female. But I think women who start out writing overt horror often get steered away from it by friends, family, English department professors, etc. who expect them to write something "nicer", something that will go in a journal with irises on the cover rather than in a pulpy magazine emblazoned with a bloody skull. Or they find a general lack of support for their writing efforts -- for instance, they start having children and it's just expected that as mothers they shoulder most of the child-raising duties -- and they quit trying to get published altogether.

So, I think most of the negative sexism is frontloaded as social pressures undermining female writers' confidence and will to succeed before they've gotten good enough to consistently produce publishable work. I don't think there's a great deal of overt sexism in the genre, although the fact that most horror anthologies have overwhelmingly male contributors still makes me wonder if stories with "female" themes are unconsciously (and unfairly) deemed boring by horror editors.

But the pressure to be "nice" still affects working female writers. On one author's list I subscribe to, a woman novelist reported that her literary agent discouraged her from having a blog on the grounds that "it's too easy to piss people off". I wonder if her agent would give the same advice to a male client. Regardless, many female authors follow that same advice and avoid talking about politics etc. in blogs so as to not unduly ruffle feathers. Contrast this with authors such as Nick Mamatas who often seem to thrive on online controversy.

Once again, a double-standard: male writers who make bold, opinionated, snarky declarations are entertaining their readership, but if women do it, whoa, they're risking losing their readership.

What can be done to foster more of an atmosphere of mutual writerly respect, giving women writers the esteem they deserve?

That's a tough question. I see male writers disrespecting one another more than I see male writers disrespecting female writers. I'm on some women-only lists, and there are plenty of battles that erupt over one thing and another and disrespect or the perception of it is at the core. I think every writer is concerned about respect, and many are probably over-sensitive to being disrespected.

I'm not sure that respect is the problem right now -- I think it's more an issue of fostering diversity. If the only women who stick with writing overt horror long enough to become recognized pros in the genre have a specific type of hard-headedness or are conforming their stories to what they believe a perceived-as-male readership wants to see -- then that's ultimately limiting the potential growth of the genre.

Are you tired of being treated as an expert on all women because you have two X chromosomes? To give more of a perspective on the idea behind this question, I've had my share of the "you're an oppressed writer, now tell me about it?" type questions where I almost feel like I'm expected to speak for the history of my people's suffering. Do you feel unduly put in the position of being a kind of political advocate?

I'm a little uncomfortable with it; I surely can't speak with authority about the lives of most women simply because I haven't lived any life but my own. I'm odd in a lot of ways, and so I can't make too many assumptions about the universality of my experiences. But because I don't fit in, I've spent a lot of time watching how other people fit in (or try to and fail) and a lot of their efforts have to do with conforming to gender expectations.

The result of that is I don't mind talking about sexism, so I don't feel unduly put-upon. I guess if every interviewer asked about it, it might get old, but since feminism and humanism are still dirty words in a lot of places the question doesn't get asked so much.

I'm still forming my own ideas about what sexism is and isn't and how it affects men and women both. And I think it's an important dialog to have.

If you're a person who absolutely subscribes to the notion that boys and girls are wired differently, if you believe that boys are "naturally" better at things like math, then you also have to believe that girls are "naturally" better at writing, because that's what the test results say.

And then if you open your anthologies and see that 75%-90% of the contributors are male, you've got to realize that there's a disconnect somewhere, that raw talent isn't translating into writing careers, and at the very least that's a sign of wasted human potential.

What are you working on now? What can we be looking for from Lucy Snyder?

I'm doing research and making notes for my second novel, and I'm waiting with bated breath to see how quickly my agent sells my first novel. I'm still out there supporting my first two collections, Sparks and Shadows and Installing Linux on a Dead Badger. If the novel is well-received, I'm going to focus on long fiction; if not, I'll try again with something else and in the meantime I'll work on more short fiction. I'm staying busy.


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Friday, February 08, 2008

Friday Night Date Place: Why I have Stopped Dating Christian Women

As I am still under the weather and am under deadline (some big announcements to come soon), this week’s Friday Night Date Place is brought to you by some time contributor, Jon Harp. It’s a lament I have heard quite often:

Let me begin by saying that anything I say here is a generality and universally true. If it were I would call it an universality (that made up word is too difficult to pronounce to be true anyway).

The reason I have stopped actively trying to date Christian women is simple, I no longer fit the criteria that qualifies me as a potentially acceptable mate. I did once upon a time, but that was before a divorce and three kids. Those two factors have made finding an interested Christian woman in her 30’s or 40’s nearly impossible. The truth is that most single Christian women are looking for a Christian man who doesn’t fall into either of those categories. Now I am not speaking of Christian women in their twenties, my informal (and completely anecdotal) research isn’t aimed in their direction, strictly women in my general age group.

It seems that most of the Christian women I have encountered seem to be searching for some type of untainted soul mate, someone who hasn’t felt that strongly about anyone else before, and/or doesn’t carry the baggage (children) that may have come along with that relationship. This seems to be strongest with women who have never been married before themselves and that is somewhat understandable, though extremely limiting. Women who have kids of their own aren’t much different, though you would think they would be more open and accepting of another Christian with kids, there seems to be a desire to have someone whose attention won’t be diverted from her and her children. Christian women who have been divorced, either with or without kids, seem to be the most accepting, but still seemingly prefer someone who hasn’t got the children.

I understand a lot of the reasons why, adding on a ready made family can be intimidating for anyone. In addition, anyone who has been through a divorce is going to bear some emotional scars, and that may make a relationship a little more difficult. The problem, however, is that I stated before, eliminating all but single never married Christian men in their 30’s will limit your options. Those clean, untainted souls are few and far between, and let’s face it, if there is a single never married man in his thirties in your church there is often a pretty plain reason for his not being married. Sure there are some perfectly acceptable guys who choose to not marry into their 30’s, but many of the men in that situation have, let’s say, social issues, to be kind.

The truth in my situation as a divorced man with kids is that I am part of the largely dismissed group. We aren’t clean and untainted. I have some dirt under my nails, and my share of scars. I am part of an increasingly large group of men in the same situation and if Christian women don’t find us generally acceptable we will turn to the one group that will, non-Christian women. The sad part is that I have found non-Christian women to be far more accepting of the dirt and scars than Christian women. Christians should always display a more open and accepting frame of mind toward others, but too often in many different arenas this isn’t the case. As I said these are generalities and not universally true. But I can tell you that on the internet dating service that I use, I would say easily 80 to 90% of the women who prominently mention that they are Christian, also mention that they are looking for someone, firstly, without kids, and secondly never married. Since I don’t fit that profile I have stopped looking for Christian women and just started looking for those who aren’t as discriminating about the dirt under my nails.


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Thursday, February 07, 2008

You Earn Your Reputation

I was listening to the Colin Cowherd show the other day and he was ranting about how cities earn their reputation. Reputations can be assets or detriments depending on what those reps say about the place in question. This prompted me to think about how true this was of people also.

Rumors may swirl around you, people may talk about you, but if they are saying the same things, one has to believe that where there’s smoke, there’s fire. I believe that there are Teflon folks and there are Velcro folks. With Teflon folks, nothing sticks to them. Rumors might spread about them, but what makes them Teflon is that the rumors don’t track with their personality and character and thus don’t really stick. Velcro folks, on the other hand, everything sticks to them because the rumors aren’t a stretch to imagine and line up with how they are or act.

Think of a reputation as a brand. Think of the reputations some of your friends or family have. They are promiscuous. They are unstable and need to be medicated. They are drunken buffoons. They are spoiled. They are a no account loser who can’t hold a job. They only use people to get what they want.

Don’t get me wrong, people can be the victims of cruel smear campaigns. I remember high school. However, I’m talking about the reputation you have among your friends, among those who really know you. You can rail about how everyone misunderstands you, how everyone else is in the wrong. Or you could examine yourself. At some point, it might be check the mirror time. There might be a point where you have to examine your method, how you handle situation, how you comport yourself.

We develop blind spots about ourselves. Sometimes other folks see things we can’t see. Meanwhile, our whole lives are an advertisement, a testimony, to the type of brand we are. Because people earn their reputations.


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Friday, February 01, 2008

FRIDAY NIGHT DATE PLACE - BLOGS TO DATE

(Ha! A pun!)

Friday Night Date Place

Why Date?

Are You Ready to Date?

A Realistic View of Marriage

Defining Dating

The Couch Dilemma

Making the First Move

Vows: Hers and Mine

The List: Part I and II


The Series on Sex:

The Talk

The Church and Sex

Chastity as Discipline

The Line

Biblical Loopholes for Sex?

Biblical Loopholes for Sex? Part II

The M-Word


Marc Davidson’s Dating Tips
Part I and Part II

Becoming a Prayer Warrior


Internet Dating

A Few First Date Tips

Getting to Know Your Part I and Part II

Miss Independent

Platitudes

Loneliness

Treasuring Friendships

You Burning? Part I and Part II

Break Ups Part I: Mourning Times


Conversations 101


Break Ups Part II: Still Mourning

Break Ups Part III: Heart-Broken

Singleness is a Sin

Smother Much?

Break Ups Part IV: Forgiving

Accept Who They Are

No One Wants to See That

Boyz II Men

Promises, Promises

Deal Breaker

To Date or Not to Date

Meeting the Folks

Meeting the Kids

No Kids?

Meet the Friends

Meet the Friends Part II

Arguments

A Few More Musings on Sex

The Discontent Dance

Check Your Man

Getting Serious

Never the Bridesmaid

Self-Destructive Ain't Cute

Dating Divorcees

The Right to be Picky

Thou Doth Protest Too Much

Communication

The "Let's Just Be Friends" Lie

Circle of Friends

Fidelity Tastes Like Chicken

For the Love of Money

Dating Addiction

Abusing Intimacy

Moving in Together

A Thief Always Gets Caught

When Love is not Enough

Hooking Up for the Holidays

Seriously, Just Friends (Take the Hint)

Finding Your Comfort Place

Why I Have Stopped Dating Christian Women (Jon Harp Guest Blog)

Surviving Valentine's Day



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Crying Out from the Sick Bed

Laying here with achy muscles, cough, and a fever which leaves me just too mushy-brained to finish the draft of this story, but not too sick to spew out gibberish of a blog.

My wife mocks my squeaky voice. My sons sense weakness, thus I’m subjected to marathons of Yo Gabba Gabba.


(And what happened to Biz Markie? At first I thought the beat boxing I was hearing was a figment of my fevered imagination.)
So all I’m left crying out to my Lord. Why hast Thou forsaken me? Thou leadest me through green, though now mostly yellow, phlegm. [Why is it whenever we think we need to connect with Thou we get all Old English on Thee?]

All things happen for a reason. I can only assume this is your Judgment for my blogging frenzy last week. I repent of those things. And I repent of having mocked my family a few weeks ago when they were sick by running around the house in my underwear yelling “I Am Legend.”


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